Expose the Brick (not yourself) in those Loo’s

People get an itch, decide to do some remodeling at home and then spend days on end reading about what they’re going to do. From Idiots for dumbshits books to bookmarking bobvila.com. I encourage a different approach… just start ripping shit apart and hope for the best. I’ve been “really zapped” a few times, smashed every finger (and thumb) on my left hand with a hammer countless times, drilled my leg once and when it comes to the utility knife (the razor) I now wear metal gloves. The funny thing about a razor cut is you don’t feel it for a few seconds but still end up screaming like a little girl BEFORE the cut even happens but you see it coming and it’s too late to put the breaks on. That’s the physical pain you can expect. Then the psychology of it kicks in and this is actually more painful. You start talking to the”whatever” it is you’re working on. One time I started arguing with the toilet. I was putting a new one in and was down to removing the last bolt. I am already pissed because of the lack of space that is usually around toilets. I tried maneuvering every which way I could and just couldn’t get that freakin bolt to do anything. Then it happens out of nowhere, you take a step back and start saying things like; “so, you want to play games huh? I can play games too! I have an idea toilet, let’s play smash the toilet to smithereens in 13 seconds or less. What’s that? Who else is playing? Well there is me, you and of course Sledge Hammer. He loves this game. In fact, I think I hear him at the door now. I’ll be right back” your family can probably have you locked up for this. By golly though, the next thing I know is I am “sweeping” the toilet out of the bathroom and I feel great! There are easier ways but letting you know what can happen to the mind when tackling a DIY home improvement job. Then the fun part, every once in a while people find some gems in their walls. The stuff that ends up being worth a fortune is great. However, I am more fascinated about how it got there and why was it left there. We never hear about that part of the story. So the project for the ambitious lately has been exposing brick walls in the bathroom. It adds character, gives an industrial look to a place that is very urban and frankly, I think it just looks awesome. Here they are…

There’s too much going on so close to the brick that it takes you away from it. I like the candles in the brick as it actually enhances it. Everything else should be spread out. But, maybe space is an issue. It’s cool.

This is ok but lacking the nitty-gritty, sledgehammer feel.

I like this one. At first the blue/green colors threw me off but after staring at it for a minute I found myself really liking it.

Very cool.

I love this one!

I gaurantee this person has OCD ~

This is obviously a small bathroom and props on a job well done. If there were only a brick wall exposed it would be awesome!

Urban Loo work in progress

You know, she was a sex symbol in her time but this is just weird. First of all who ever designed this thing was on acid. Secondly, whoever built it was taking it as well. This thing will make a person puke. And look at the front of the tub, it looks like a homemade coffin made out of used wood. Most of the paint has peeled off. Those bathroom windows look like they came out of a whore motel. I would just blow up and start all over again.

and finally…

I understand it, but I will NEVER use it! There are three things right off the top of my head that are wrong with this. London has a problem with people urinating outside, downtown where it's busy and crowded. 1) Where do they put these where they are not offensive? 2) Where will these be placed that only the outdoor pissers know where they are? This is a disease factory. Something tells me this will backfire. I hope not but this just does not look good. And 3) I think the designer overlooked one thing, what if you're really short? For a city that has an uppity attitude, an unequaled pride regarding their own culture you would have expected them to come up with something with a little more thought behind it. Also, it gives the pissers the green light that pissing in public is A-OK. It's a reprehensible and disgraceful solution for the people of London.

You’re four of the closest guys and known everywhere…

But somehow after the years go by, and really not all that many, you end up splitting apart because of creative differences, what appears to be hatred, bitterness towards one another or anything and everything. How does this happen when you were all having so much fun at one time… shit happens so you say fuck you and move on or else you die. Let’s roll down Penny Lane… From their first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show 74million people watched them perform to screaming females. This was just a taste of what was yet to come as millions and millions more would soon be taken by them. From 1963 – 1966 The Beatles released 14 albums in the US. Unfreakin heard of today. Takes a rock band today 3 years to sober up after their first hit record. The Beatles had 14 very upbeat, love songs, sappy sometimes, goofy and all were popular. They had that chemistry, they had fun, people loved them and they were different. Then in 1967, The Beatles released Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band and Magical Mystery Tour. Two great albums!

A Beatles fanatic could study this album cover for hours and then it gets a bit creepy. The Beatles had definitely gone from those happy love songs to a darker side with the laughing maniacal clown as the ring leader. Or it was the acid.

The music was different, edgy, intense, there was some kind of movement going on, there was Vietnam, there was racial tension everywhere and there were The Beatles. They were four young guys who formed a band and man, did they hit it big. They became so well known throughout the world that a year earlier, 1966, Lennon had made some stupid comment that the kids were paying more attention to The Beatles than they were to Jesus, or God, or Religion or whatever it was. It was one of those stupid comments that as soon as the last word begins to roll off your tongue you are already thinking, what the fuck did I say that for??? I didn’t know John personally but I do believe he didn’t mean it the way people took it. People like the KKK, people like the ones in the southeast part of the country who at the time hated anyone who wasn’t just like them, ran to the streets to burn Beatle albums. The whole thing was really over-analyzed. John was like 26 at the time with a pocketful of money and a pocket full of dope. I wouldn’t have expected him to say anything profound, would you? He was simply a rock star with a lot of talent but by any fetch of the imagination was he the devil. It’s now 2 days shy of a year since MMT and The Beatles released a great album by no surprise, a double album at that and were advised to hold back on the additional album but obviously they did not and got their way, The White Album simply titled in black; “The Beatles” and it worked. Not because of the less is more theor but because it was a musical genius. It was Rock n’ Roll never heard before. It was hard, it was soft, it was funny sometimes, it was like listening to a fairytale. In my opinion it has The Beatles best song ever on that album whi is George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”. Too bad George wasn’t aloud to contribute more of his talent that way but how could the Beatles get any bigger? Props to George! Dear Prudence is another great song and the infamous “helter skelter” song because of the Manson murders. This reminds me that the only good thing I can say about Bono today is when I saw U2 in concert he said that Charles Manson stole this song from The Beatles and tonight he was taking it back to them. As corny as it sounds it was very touching. This is 1968, were at a loss as far as a solution goes to the Vietnam war, muscle cars were becoming stronger, drugs were everywhere and easy to get. The White Album somehow represented everything that was gong on back then. Just months earlier before the release of the white album Bobby Kennedy had been assassinated by Sirhan Sirhan at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. Bobby was celebrating his successful campaign in the California primary elections while seeking the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. The music of The Beatles didn’t make things better but it did make you forget for a few minutes. Not such a bad thing.

Pop culture

Things and people change...

The Beatles released two albums in 1969. January 13th The Beatles released Yellow Submarine which did absolutely nothing for me. It just wasn’t happening on that album and The Beatles knew that as well. It was probably one of those albums that should have been sat on, put in the vault, let’s keep working it… toss it man. It was 40 minutes/12 seconds of whatever music. It just wasn’t there. Was this the beginning of the end?

It was like a bad comic book.

But just a short 10 months later The Beatles released one of their masterpieces, Abby Road!

Man, if Yellow Submarine was changing your taste in music regarding the Beatles, Abbey Road lured you right back in. It was fucking awesome work. Both the album cover and the music. No surprise though. There are 70 parody covers of this album on this page.

http://www.amiright.com/album-covers/abbey-road-parodies/

Technically, this was it for The Beatles. John wanted out, they were fighting all the time, George thought the band was ridiculous as he was by far the most talented one, Ringo was along for the ride and hoping for the best (not as in Pete) Paul thought The Beatles were the movement while John kept trying to get him to understand that The Beatles were only a part of “the movement”. ABBEY ROAD was recorded in the summer of 1969 and was the last album recorded by the Beatles (LET IT BE was released in 1970, but recorded in early ’69).

Thanks for the memories guys. They, and you, will never be forgotten!

John went on with Yoko and formed The Plastic Ono Band which sucked. It was full of anger and shit Lennon never dealt with. However, he came through the other side and began writing beautiful music/songs starting with Imagine. Unfortunately, just when John seemed really comfortable in his own skin and enjoying the success of the album Double Fantasy he was shot and killed by a crazed fan Mark David Chapman who ironically had just gotten John to sign his Double Fantasy album. It makes you wonder what is wrong with people. John was 40.

George Harrison did a lot of charitable music. The most famous being the concert for Bangladesh which when you think about it George was also very spiritual and always wanting to give rather than take. Very admirable of him. Imagine George taking 200 million to perform. He probably would then give it to a poor country. Huge props for George! George passed away on 11/29/2001 at the age of 58.

Ringo goes around the country talking to people and doing his; “Ringo and his all star band” gigs. I’ve seen it once and it’s fine. He’s enjoying himself and having fun.

Paul is unquestionably the most successful Beatle. He went on to perform solo, then formed Wings, then went solo again and has been for 20 – 25 years or more now. Paul seemed to be grounded and together until his wife Linda passed away. Then it was like the nut finally fell from the tree and it married Heather Mills. I’m not knocking the handicap at all as I have a few of my own… but c’mon Paul. You were a freakin Beatle, a great solo career, Wings was way cool at the time and you end up with hop-scotch Mills who was a rippin bitch. What, you were married about 8 weeks and she wanted half of what you acquired throughout your life? Stay single Paul or talk to Rod Stewart the next time you get the itch.

Bringing it home with a trivia question; When The Beatles first toured America, what city is the only city they did not sell out to full capacity?

Web Trends in 2010

1) Employee-owned IT
Traditionally, IT departments decide what kind of computers and software employees use and they take responsibility for all maintenance chores. Younger workers, however, have grown up choosing their own computers and applications and want to keep their personalized computing styles. Enter employee-owned IT, which sees workers bringing their own computers to work so that IT can lock them down with virtualization or multiple operating systems that deliver security. IT departments save as maintenance devolves to computer vendors, while employees swear they are more productive using a machine of their choice.

2) Web Analytics as part of Enterprise BI and Dashboards.
Web Analytics in many organizations is still an orphan with no real parents. Every department looks at its data but rarely does it get a strategic priority as an indicator of business trends and business intelligence asset. Investment in web analytics allows for customer insights, marketing spend ROI, conversion optimization and can impact the bottom line. As companies invest in sophisticated BI and analytical dashboards, web based data that is not transactional is usually not there. Integrating web traffic and user interest data into these systems can result in new insights and better actionable data.

3) Approaching Social Networking and Collaboration in a Strategic way
Everyone now realizes the power of social networks and is rushing to get in, establish a FaceBook page, a Twitter account and get’s their PR to sprawl the web to “engage” people. Internally, companies are haphazardly trying various collaboration methods. We see a maturity process happening through 2009 that will force companies to look at all their collaboration points in a strategic way and tie them to business goals and processes. This new approach will transform them from toys to tools and will establish their place and value in the new order.

4) Mobility, Telecommuting and Virtual Meetings
After years of false starts and niche uses, technologies that untether the work force are racing forward at light speed. Wireless networks are becoming ubiquitous, devices are advancing rapidly, and an array of tools and technologies are making virtual meetings, collaboration and telecommuting a seamless proposition. Thirty-five percent of Baseline survey respondents said they’re expecting the use of these tools to increase in 2010.
BlackBerrys, iPhones, netbooks and a spate of other devices are reshaping the landscape. “Businesses are cutting costs and improving their productivity through mobility initiatives,” observes Dan Shey, mobile services practice director at ABI Research. However, at the same time, workers are demanding control over what devices they use and how they use them. “The consumerization of IT is in full swing,” adds Sean Ryan, mobile research analyst at IDC.
A bigger challenge for 2010 involves managing mobile devices and ensuring tight security, Ryan explains. Most organizations need to address these issues in a more comprehensive and holistic way—through better device administration technology and policies. In fact, telecommuting barriers have completely broken down due to the widespread and common use of mobile tools that work across platforms.

This connected and collaborative environment also promises to usher in better desktop video conferencing, along with more advanced telepresence capabilities. The widespread availability of high-bandwidth networks, along with more sophisticated and less-expensive technologies, makes it possible for organizations to work virtually and seamlessly. After years of hype, tools such as Skype, WebEx and Cisco TelePresence—along with widespread high-bandwidth connections—make cross-platform group connectivity and, in some cases, HD video an attractive and viable option.

5) Cloud computing…
has taken the business world by storm! Two-thirds of Baseline survey respondents plan to expand the use of public clouds, which reside on the Internet, provide access to shared computing resources and are operated by third-party providers. Sixty-four percent said they’re interested in private clouds, which, according to the National Institute of Standards and Technology, are “owned or leased by a single organization and operated solely for that organization.”
A growing number of organizations are turning to clouds to manage various applications, including basic word processing and spreadsheets through Google, CRM tools, ERP and databases. Indeed, most major enterprise application vendors have adapted their applications to run in the cloud—or they are planning to do so.
Organizations are also turning to clouds to keep mobile data in sync. Apple, Research in Motion and other vendors have simplified syncing contacts, e-mails, notes and calendar items across multiple devices.
Meanwhile, Amazon’s Elastic Compute Cloud (EC2) allows organizations to access resizable virtualized compute capacity across multiple operating systems, including Windows, Linux and Solaris. Microsoft recently introduced Windows Azure, a platform that lets developers create new Microsoft-compatible tools and applications in a cloud-based environment. And Unisys announced the Secure Private Cloud Solution, which optimizes storage virtualization and provides enhancements for internal data centers and business continuity.

Name the state(s) in the US that have the cleanest and well stocked restrooms only in rest areas.

The state with the highest number that peeople have chosen will win 1 (one free basket of toiletries to share amongst the people who participated. And who says you can’t bet something for nothing. Cpntest rules: no cheating and you know who you are.
The contest starts today at 1:00pm pst and ends at 9:00pm tonight pst. Get your memorydex of restrooms in rest areas across America and send in your answers. Let’s have fun!

Don't forget to tip the gnome. Game to begin in 10 minutes

Published in: on January 3, 2010 at 8:52 pm  Comments (1)  
Tags: , , , ,

Bathrooms you shouldn’t touch… ever! If you do, don’t start handshaking, just don’t.

This is the FashionLoo after 3:00am edition that comes out once every… this is the first edition. Enjoy!

Have you ever stepped in to use a restroom, right, at a gas station and they’re MF’ing disgusting. There is something fascinating about this though. As soon as you realize that the room you just entered could very well hold some kind of weapon of mass destruction you IMMEDIATELY have this, this mastery, this particular activity adeptness to use your feet to turn things on like a ceiling fan only to discover it doesn’t work. Why in the world would it work anyway??? You can flip the toilet seat up/down, (trust me, in my case it ain’t never going down in a Loo like this) and if the water works it’s freakin astonishing that you can adjust the hot and cold to warm (two handle faucet) flush the toilet and two top it off the last three things are the proof that you are gifted. You are not just a winner but you’re a champion. You’re the maestro at maneuvering your way around a hole in the wall shitter and operating everything in there with your feet only. 1) When we are done what do we do? Wash our hands. I don’t know about you but my hands never came out of my pockets but I still wash them. 2) Somehow, and not sure how, I do get my hands dry. Yea, paper towels in this Loo would be… never mind. No way is there paper towels in this shit-hole. Get over it. Somehow we do get them dry and we’re not using our clothes. We will them dry. And number 3) is a gas… no kidding huh? Now we zero right on that doorknob and I will die a slow painful death before I touch that thing. I ‘ve used my shirt cuff in the past but I have a tee-shirt on, brilliant white and I am not about to get some gas station “virus” because it really hasn’t been identified yet. The reason it hasn’t been is because the people who have had it haven’t lived long enough for the “virus” and it’s symptoms to be studied. Suddenly, that handle turns, the door flicks wide open and all this with the bottom of your foot. Truly amazing because I struggle with the fear of “touching public door knobs all day” in general. Do you know how many people in one day touch the same door that you do? Gazillions. But because of purell I am able to go outside again. I really should add a #4… once outside you release your breath. You have undertaken this entire task of using a “gasoline station public restroom” operating everything with your feet and the whole time you were holing your breath! Now, not sure about you but think about this, you were in there a long time meaning at least 10 minutes. And if you have BPH and are not on medication then you are in there for at least 1/2 hr. Taking that elusive BPH leak is painful enough all in its own. So if you think about what you have just done with your body, in an environment that does kill coo-coo-rachaz it really does qualify as an eighth wonder of the world. Seriously! Look at some that were once thought of as an 8th wonder; Grande Canyon, Empire State Bldg, natural tunnel in Virginia, Panama Canal and even André the Giant was at one time. If André the Giant can make the list so should Using the Loo at a shit-hole Gasoline Station. I think Stephen King would agree. Take a look at some of the places we’re talking about…

Oh here's a place we can stop at to use the facilities and grab a bite to eat!

Hurry up! Let's go! It was full, I'll use the next one!

Close call but he made it!

this is much more natural than that gas station facility. OCD really bad with this cracker-jack

Forget it! I'll go take my chances with the rattlers...

I'm sure the city meant well but I just couldn't do it.

I can redesign and refashion your curent bathroom into something that will make you stay away from any other Loo. Especially the public facilities. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's n... Call me. You'll be glad you did!

FashionLoo
Call me for a free, no obligation consultation. We can discuss what you want to accomplish with your bathroom, themes, colors, accessories… Depending on the work that will go into your FashionLoo I can give you an estimate right away or email one within 24 hrs

Kindest Regards,

max shapiro
828-676-0803 or 310-869-7764
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com

Periodically the FashionLoo takes a look at the dwellings that some of the Loos are in. Take a look and beginning with number 8 and moving backwards to number 1

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 8 ~ Halle Berry

Very nice, on the beach,Malibu perhaps, very nice.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 7 ~ John Travolta

Mode of transportation for John is flying. Nice parking area for the plane. I am guessing that between jobs he is flying down to Mexico and bringing ... never mind. It's a nice place John.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 6 ~ Jerry Sienfeld

You know, Jerry did exceptionally well financially with the Sienfeld show. He should have gotten better than this modest home.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 5 ~ The Honorable Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger and wife Maria Schwarzenegger

Moved here from Austria with a dream. Could not speak a lick of English and it's actually still questionable today. Though, there have been improvements. Maria? Well, everyone knows the old dough came from Old Man Joe in his bootlegging days.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 4 ~ J. Lo & husband Marc Anthony

Very nice for a couple of people who lack talent and personality. Life is fair.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 3 ~ Funny Man, Eddie Murphy

Someone who controls everything in LA sure must have taken a liking to Eddie. He gets more chances after a bad movie than Evil Knievel did after he road rashed

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 2 ~ Oprah Winfrey

I would expect nothing less from Oprah. And this is only one of her cave's. This one is up in the Santa Barbara, CA area. She dropped $55million for this future 5 star hotel after she sells it.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 1 ~ The notorious, infamous and probably the most hated man in America and especially Los Angeles is a former Heisman Trophy Winner, NFL Super Star, then moved on to acting. Initially booking commercials, became spokesman for samsonite luggage. After a few years of commercial work he hit the big screen with the Airplane movies. Do you know who this abode belongs to yet? Hint: It’s in a private, gated community with added top-shelf security… you know who it is, it’s the home of O.J. “ass-hole, Delusions of Grandeur” Simpson”

I think his shoe closet in his Palisades Diggs was bigger. Oh well Oh well! 😉

Let’s just say that the first automobile ever introduced to us post Horse and Buggy were cars that…

looked just like this. And they told us that we could get any color we wanted as long as it’s black. So then, we pickled a black one. We took family vacations in this car, drive to church in it and we would even just sit in it and listen to the ball game.

Then though it was over the years we did notice that every single car looked exactly like this one. A subtle difference here and there but for the most part, this was it

Let’s get it straight… the first car we ever see and use is a great looking BMW 6 series. As the years go by we end up with something that does the job but just isn’t something that we get excited about, certainly not something to show off and don’t ever use it anymore unless we absolutely have to go… somewhere that is. What happened? It made more sense for the manufacturers to spend less/charge more. Pretty clear cut and fast drying. Less material cost less money but the scam called “Inflation and Cost of Living” has converted everyone into a village idiot. The reality of a product and it’s worth is simple; it’s worth is only based on what someone is willing to pay. That’s it. You don’t want to pay $2.00 for a box of brownies then walk away. If you’re willing to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a Barry Bonds steroid home run baseball then good for you. You’re the top village idiot. That baseball is still a baseball. It hasn’t been filled with platinum, pure gold or even uncut whatever. It’s still a rawlings baseball. So now everyone is convinced about inflation, the increase in the costs of running a business, prices continue to skyrocket and though the companies all cut back the consumer still takes it in the rear end. Corporate has a free pass to extortionate pricing. The analogy above with the cars is this;

This one bathroom most people today will not remember. In fact, they will question if there ever were such a bathroom. Well the answer is yes and one with character, modern, luxurious and smart. Notice the commode is in a separate room adjoining the main bathroom. This should have never EVER changed. Use your imagination as to why. Here are a few more that we should have stayed with...

Oh this was certainly a waste of craftsmanship. Someone fire up the bulldozer pronto!

We should just take a torch to this nonsense. What could they have possibly been thinking???

So finally the idea strikes like a bolt of lightning…

It's magnificent! Who designed this? Frank Lloyd Wright? Barry Byrne? So this is what we have accepted for at least the past 50 yrs and we decided it ain't going to survive year 51. See what's coming...

the counter top-formica-granite-whatever sink becomes a beautiful craftsmanship piece of bedroom furniture. It has two sinks and all your drawer clothing is right there. Large enough fo two people. Space is large enough to comfortably get ready for any event. Check it out Jackson…

and it only gets better...

and better...

Now here in the bathroom there is all this additional room. You might be saying but I want a sink in the bathroom, I’ve always had a sink and I am… I interrupt and say ok, shut up you big crybaby and listen to me for a second. Over in this corner where you keep your dust decor…

handsome, compact,fit anywhere, any corner

you could install this one at the base of the tub

pay attention to the cabinet. This is where we go next

Moving on now leaving you with the classic pedestal

Next is a cabinet to store a few things in. Whatever they are. Could be condoms, k-Y, a waterproof vibrator, I don’t care. Just remember, the main vanity has moved into the bedroom. Now pay attention…

look at this, life was never this good

oh.yea-sex-toys-storage-cabinet

Freakin Awesome!

there.it.s-all.she.wrote.space.taken.with.pedestal.and.cabinet-4sqfeet

Now here is something I am very adamant about… shit stinks. Yours stinks even worse. Why they took the commode and stuck it in the the room with everything else still confuses me. There isn’t any amount of money that could be worth that. The toilet belongs and is going back to having it’s own room the size of a walk in closet. It will also accommodate a pedestal sink and medicine “wink-wink” cabinet. Check it out…

Very nice, very nice.

Si! Si!

Adequate. Serves the purpose

The alternative?

This was really Thomas Jefferson's toilet room. Good enough for him, it's good enough to bring back.

Coming tomorrow is the new look in the Loo with all the extra space. This room will become your sanctuary, your oasis, your getaway, you’ll become a bathroom rat. The designs are endless and you’ll love it once you start getting into it or call me for a consultation.

Taking a break from The FashionLoo for a minute to remember a bizarre and odd man that was emcee on a popular Sunday night variety show…

Mr Edward Vincent “Ed” Sullivan. Born: 9-28-1901 Died: 10-13-1974

Ed Sullivan was weird. No two ways about it. He always had his arms crossed very tightly like he was hanging on to himself, controlling beyond apprehension, possessing a sailor’s salty vocabulary and the only talent he did have was that of making his audience believe he was the nice “Uncle Eddie”. In reality though, Ed Sullivan had skipped college but earned a rough and tumble Ivy League education in American show business, from the speakeasy cabarets of his twenties to his abortive radio and film career to – especially – his years spent producing sawdust-and-sweat vaudeville shows. He was a loner, he would isolate, get pissed at someone about nothing and not speak to them for months, sometimes years. He would cancel performances on the day of the show if the performer would object to his change demands. opera star Maria Callas refused to sing her famed interpretation of Tosca, Sullivan had made it clear: you’ll sing what I tell you to sing or your performance is canceled. The diva had met a bigger diva. He told the Doors to change the word “Higher” in “light my fire”, they reluctantly agreed but sang the original lyric anyway. Ed canceled their next six scheduled shows and would not shake hands with them when they left. He told The Rolling Stones to change some lyrics in “Let’s spend the night together” and they agreed and kept their word. However, every time Mick sang the “new” lyrics he would roll his eyes. This pissed Ed off. It was definitely Ed’s show or no show. But watching him every week I remember not only was he odd and bizarre but he knew something that the rest of us didn’t. As nutty and stubborn as he was, he kept that show running for 25 years. A photo run down ES lane wrapping it up with his top 5 acts of all time.

Morrison, I warned you and you double crossed me! No one gets away with doing that to me. Your next six scheduled shows are all canceled! Now get off my stage and scram!

We already did the Ed Sullivan show

Ed clearly not getting through to the young Presley, he's quickly becoming annoyed and considering canceling his performance

Those hips of yours Presley will not shake about as you perform. Am I getting through to you yet you thick-headed hick?

Now you listen to me Parker or whoever you really are, get your whole gang in here, I'll kick their asses. Then when I'm done with them I'll knock the dog-snot out of your brainless mug. Then, after I am warmed up I'll use sissy girl Presley here as a punching bag. He'll be so banged up when I'm done with him it'll be at least a year before he can perform. And to make sure I am satisfied when I'm done, I'll keep the cash I promised you. Now am I getting through to you two hillbillies? No hips!!! Shut up Presley.

Topo Gigio finishes a song & dance number to a standing ovation on the Ed Sullivan show. Ed was so annoyed that a rat could be admired by all that he had to walk back stage to avoid embarrassing himself.

Because Topo was in such demand, particularly to appear on the Ed Sullivan Show, he was now enjoying being on top of the world. Ed on the other hand saw nothing but a rat when he looked at Topo. Topo sensed Ed's aversion towards him. Topo took pity on Ed and sent him a card...

Oh Eddie, you cana kissa my rat's ass!

Ed was outraged by this and immediately planned his revenge. He detested the fact that the audience adored Topo Gigio more than they adored Ed himself. On screen Ed was loving and kind to Topo. He would even kiss him goodnight. But now this was it. He wanted nothing more than to get rid of that rat. Rat poison he thought, slow and painful.

Wrapping up the shew with Ed Sullivan’s top 5 acts of all time. Starting with…

# 5~ The Rolling Stones

Hey Mick, maybe you shouldn't have rolled your eyes.

# 4~ Victor Borge (Isn’t he that funny guy who spins a million plates at once?)

# 3~ Topo Gigio

Ed thought he was clever sticking Topo in the number 3 spot. He proved he wouldn't hurt a little mouse and that Topo was his pal. But a twist takes place, Topo didn't trust Ed anymore so he brought his bodyguard along with him to the show...

A break in the countdown ladies and gentlemen…

Where's Sullivan. I gotta message for him from Topo Gigio.

Continuing with the shew as Mr. Bengal waits comfortably sedated in the green room, we now bring you the number 2 act of all time, The Beatles!

Number 2??? Who can possibly be 1?

And the number 1 act of all time… The Beach Boys!

This is America, we love Topo and The Beach Boys. Oh, oh... one thing about Ed Sullivan, he can smell when a mob is about to happen and this one is only moments away.

Everyone is booing Ed, Topo and his buddy the big cat are running towards Sullivan, Keith Richards of the Stones sucker punches Ed from behind, Victor tries spinning plates to calm the crowd but now they’re a mob charging the stage, Victor drops his plates screaming and running, Jim Morrison drops in and says to Ed, “you’re so stupid man” and then leaves. The Beatles are cracking up and The Beach Boys are crying. Ed throws his hands in the air and takes a walk back stage. Here is a rare photo of Ed at the end of that day…

You get to do it all over again next Sunday Ed. Keep your chin up!

R.I.P. Topo Gigio Born 8-22-1945 Died 10-12-1974.

That’s funny, Topo died a day before Ed Sullivan passed away… way to go Ed!

Have another beer Jackson.

Who cares about the pros... play and watch amateur golf, it's so much more entertaining!

Pink was their favorite color. C’mon, let’s pink inside…

What was the attraction to pink back then?

Well, someone today thinks this is very cool, modern retro.

Oh, oh... a few new colors are coming in.

Too bad it's Pink. Otherwise, it's pretty damn cool!

Look, in the retro days they had bubble gum canisters in the Loo. See it in the far caorner where mirror meets the wall.

It was only a matter of time before someone went out on a limb.