Expose the Brick (not yourself) in those Loo’s

People get an itch, decide to do some remodeling at home and then spend days on end reading about what they’re going to do. From Idiots for dumbshits books to bookmarking bobvila.com. I encourage a different approach… just start ripping shit apart and hope for the best. I’ve been “really zapped” a few times, smashed every finger (and thumb) on my left hand with a hammer countless times, drilled my leg once and when it comes to the utility knife (the razor) I now wear metal gloves. The funny thing about a razor cut is you don’t feel it for a few seconds but still end up screaming like a little girl BEFORE the cut even happens but you see it coming and it’s too late to put the breaks on. That’s the physical pain you can expect. Then the psychology of it kicks in and this is actually more painful. You start talking to the”whatever” it is you’re working on. One time I started arguing with the toilet. I was putting a new one in and was down to removing the last bolt. I am already pissed because of the lack of space that is usually around toilets. I tried maneuvering every which way I could and just couldn’t get that freakin bolt to do anything. Then it happens out of nowhere, you take a step back and start saying things like; “so, you want to play games huh? I can play games too! I have an idea toilet, let’s play smash the toilet to smithereens in 13 seconds or less. What’s that? Who else is playing? Well there is me, you and of course Sledge Hammer. He loves this game. In fact, I think I hear him at the door now. I’ll be right back” your family can probably have you locked up for this. By golly though, the next thing I know is I am “sweeping” the toilet out of the bathroom and I feel great! There are easier ways but letting you know what can happen to the mind when tackling a DIY home improvement job. Then the fun part, every once in a while people find some gems in their walls. The stuff that ends up being worth a fortune is great. However, I am more fascinated about how it got there and why was it left there. We never hear about that part of the story. So the project for the ambitious lately has been exposing brick walls in the bathroom. It adds character, gives an industrial look to a place that is very urban and frankly, I think it just looks awesome. Here they are…

There’s too much going on so close to the brick that it takes you away from it. I like the candles in the brick as it actually enhances it. Everything else should be spread out. But, maybe space is an issue. It’s cool.

This is ok but lacking the nitty-gritty, sledgehammer feel.

I like this one. At first the blue/green colors threw me off but after staring at it for a minute I found myself really liking it.

Very cool.

I love this one!

I gaurantee this person has OCD ~

This is obviously a small bathroom and props on a job well done. If there were only a brick wall exposed it would be awesome!

Urban Loo work in progress

You know, she was a sex symbol in her time but this is just weird. First of all who ever designed this thing was on acid. Secondly, whoever built it was taking it as well. This thing will make a person puke. And look at the front of the tub, it looks like a homemade coffin made out of used wood. Most of the paint has peeled off. Those bathroom windows look like they came out of a whore motel. I would just blow up and start all over again.

and finally…

I understand it, but I will NEVER use it! There are three things right off the top of my head that are wrong with this. London has a problem with people urinating outside, downtown where it's busy and crowded. 1) Where do they put these where they are not offensive? 2) Where will these be placed that only the outdoor pissers know where they are? This is a disease factory. Something tells me this will backfire. I hope not but this just does not look good. And 3) I think the designer overlooked one thing, what if you're really short? For a city that has an uppity attitude, an unequaled pride regarding their own culture you would have expected them to come up with something with a little more thought behind it. Also, it gives the pissers the green light that pissing in public is A-OK. It's a reprehensible and disgraceful solution for the people of London.

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Periodically the FashionLoo takes a look at the dwellings that some of the Loos are in. Take a look and beginning with number 8 and moving backwards to number 1

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 8 ~ Halle Berry

Very nice, on the beach,Malibu perhaps, very nice.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 7 ~ John Travolta

Mode of transportation for John is flying. Nice parking area for the plane. I am guessing that between jobs he is flying down to Mexico and bringing ... never mind. It's a nice place John.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 6 ~ Jerry Sienfeld

You know, Jerry did exceptionally well financially with the Sienfeld show. He should have gotten better than this modest home.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 5 ~ The Honorable Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger and wife Maria Schwarzenegger

Moved here from Austria with a dream. Could not speak a lick of English and it's actually still questionable today. Though, there have been improvements. Maria? Well, everyone knows the old dough came from Old Man Joe in his bootlegging days.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 4 ~ J. Lo & husband Marc Anthony

Very nice for a couple of people who lack talent and personality. Life is fair.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 3 ~ Funny Man, Eddie Murphy

Someone who controls everything in LA sure must have taken a liking to Eddie. He gets more chances after a bad movie than Evil Knievel did after he road rashed

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 2 ~ Oprah Winfrey

I would expect nothing less from Oprah. And this is only one of her cave's. This one is up in the Santa Barbara, CA area. She dropped $55million for this future 5 star hotel after she sells it.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 1 ~ The notorious, infamous and probably the most hated man in America and especially Los Angeles is a former Heisman Trophy Winner, NFL Super Star, then moved on to acting. Initially booking commercials, became spokesman for samsonite luggage. After a few years of commercial work he hit the big screen with the Airplane movies. Do you know who this abode belongs to yet? Hint: It’s in a private, gated community with added top-shelf security… you know who it is, it’s the home of O.J. “ass-hole, Delusions of Grandeur” Simpson”

I think his shoe closet in his Palisades Diggs was bigger. Oh well Oh well! 😉

Pink was their favorite color. C’mon, let’s pink inside…

What was the attraction to pink back then?

Well, someone today thinks this is very cool, modern retro.

Oh, oh... a few new colors are coming in.

Too bad it's Pink. Otherwise, it's pretty damn cool!

Look, in the retro days they had bubble gum canisters in the Loo. See it in the far caorner where mirror meets the wall.

It was only a matter of time before someone went out on a limb.

Classic, Aged with the Detail at its Finest. You know, some things should just stay the way they are…

Back on board at The Loo, this bathroom is awesome. Don’t just glance over it but look at the detail… a wired soap dish attached (kind of low for my liking) to the wall, the toilet speaks for itself and I would love to have that exact toilet. Just yanking on that chain to flush would be cool. I know, I know, conserve water and save the planet and I believe in that. But Bono has it covered. Anyway, the toilet is amazing, the door in the corner is kind of interesting. I believe it’s a door, maybe a dutch door, the coat-rack for robes, the stand with what looks like a pitcher & bowl, then the main sink. The plumbing alone is very cool. The walls must be 12 – 15 ft which is enough room to build a loft if someone wanted to. If you look in the mirror there is a reflection of what looks like a large draped window. This must be one hell of a house. The rug alone looks like it cost a fortune. What does this have to do with the average person that goes from paycheck to paycheck? Stimulate ideas. I know I’ll never live in a house like this BUT with imagination and some creative passion you can have a miniature. I have found some great items at thrift stores for a buck or two. Cleaned them up, tightened a screw polished it down to the metal and ended up with something that looks like I paid a lot of money for. I got a couple of antique soap dishes this way. Small and medium sized vases, picked up a great pitcher & bowl (not crazy about the color but it’s in near perfect condition and was $3-) hard wired screen baskets are great for anything and look artsy all cleaned up with a few rolled towels in them. Then the two rusted brass 12” candle holders. I cut off the part that holds the candle (actually I beat the things to death with a hammer because I don’t have a hack-saw and that part eventually broke off. You just gotta hang in there sometimes and make use with what you have) Hung them on the wall with the two bottom ends connecting placing them going in opposite directions. It not only came out great it looks like a very expensive piece of metal wall art. I think they were like a buck a piece. I hung a few corner pieces of crown molding with no intention of going full circle and it looks great. Cost me like $5- I had a small brown pressed wood bathroom cabinet. Nothing special. The kind you would either toss or give to someone if they needed one. Instead, I painted it white, replaced the brown wood knobs with brushed nickel metal knobs and in no time at all I have this stylish artsy cabinet that cost about $15- The ideas are endless. What one thing does for you may not for another so who cares. Hang a soap dish upside down on the ceiling with a small picture in it. When people are using your bathroom they’ll see it and wonder… WTF??? John Lennon was once asked what a particular song meant. His was response was what it meant to him and what it may mean to someone else will have two different meanings so why does it matter what it means to him. Now remember the sidebar with John saying something about the eye of the hurricane when suddenly you realize you’re performing in concert… my interpretation of those words were he just came out of a blackout and hears Paul saying; “for the 10th time now John, start us off” There it is, same song, two different meanings.

Decorative crown molding corner piece

And it all started with this!

An old hallway table, a thrift store mirror, a ceramic or glass basin with a faucet and you just created a unique piece of art.

That’s right. There are probably a million old hallway tables, butcher’s blocks, old beat-up school desk’s or an imperfect piece of wood that was maybe burned a bit at one time. Whatever the piece may be you can make an adjustment here and there, antique it with a bicycle chain by beating the dog snot out of it, throw on some green, yellow, red, black, brown paint… choose the colors you like. Green and brown with the whipped chain looks like an antique over night. Use a rag, sponge and an old stiff paintbrush when applying the paint. The type of finish you get is entirely up to you. I personally like a flat or a semi-gloss. Buy a basin at any major home improvement store that you absolutely love (don’t get hung up on if it “matches” or not. It will) and there are lots of new ones out there, many beautiful ones for under $100. Some simple plumbing accessories, hang the mirror, put a couple of inexpensive side lamps on the wall with the aged Italian brass look and you have a functioning new sink that looks like a million bucks. It’s very cool! Use your imagination, let your heart guide you and you will be brilliant every time.

Check it out…

g. max shapiro
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Simply put, we deliver nothing less than a QUALITY of work that when completed the results are superior! You will not find better craftsmanship anywhere. And at the rates we can offer you, you’ll bring us back again and again. I guarantee it!

Luxury Loo – You pick which one…

Luxury Loo # 1 – Multiple shots from different angles

Great bathroom. The dark floor is awesome. I have to say though, I would have went with the claw-foot tub instead of what they went with. It’s nice though.

This is a very cool Loo. That green thing hanging in the window has to go though. I think maybe someone there just watched a Martha Stewart show thus the… thing.

An area for the ladies. Very nice, very nice.

This shower must rock! It sure would have been nice to see more of it though.

Toilets just don’t get any better than this one! Why in God’s name that picture is there though must be some kind of sick joke. No, the joke comes when you use the Loo and reach for the toilet paper. Very funny people live in this house… I hope they keep their day jobs.

Luxury Loo # 2~ Hold onto your hats because…

I sit on this throne, therefore I am king. I have all the power, and things I’ll ever need.
But before you go, I know how you’ll vote. Give me a thumbs up, the finger if you won’t 😉

After Vintage we were on the way to creating what we now call the Retro Bathroom. Take a look…

Top 5 picks for the week o 12-07-2009. All Retro. Pick the most popular and win a prize~ I have never been a huge fan of this look primarily for two reasons; 1) They seem to be occupied by old people. Why? I have no idea. Just an observation on my part. 2) I forgot what my number 2 reason was but if I do remember before I’m finished I’ll let you know… They were not very sanitary! I knew I would remember. Some weird transition happened. You could eat off of the plumbing in a vintage Loo then the retro thing happens and I didn’t even want to be near one while eating. Seriously, they took my appetite away. Anyway, my top 5 picks “retro style” for week 12-07-2009-

Retro Loo pick # 5~

No space, incredibly small, it’s a germ motel… I hate it. 1 star.

Retro Loo pick # 4~

What is with the color pink? It seems like 8 out 10 retro bathrooms were pink back then. Is this because of Jayne Mansfield? There is something about the color pink that makes me want to vomit. No matter what shade it is I get a sudden urge to puke. I hate this Loo. 1 star!

Retro Loo pick # 3~

It’s getting better. I think the general population saw how disgusting their bathrooms had become so a change was in order. This next one at least makes an attempt to do something to get away from the crap that was being built and billed as “modern bathrooms” with all the comforts you can imagine… I would yell at the TV when I was a kid and tell the guy doing the commercial to go F–k himself then get up and go have a smoke I was so disgusted. But check this out…

Put your guns back in your holsters and calm down. Yea, it’s Pepto Dismal Pink BUT look at the gray towels above the toilet… huh? And then there’s some BS here and there that have normal colors for a man. Hey, just understand this if you’re thinking of ever running for office for any seat, change happens slowly. But it’s a positive change, God bless the guy who put these towels and thing-a-ma-jigs on the wall. This Loo gets 3 stars!

Retro Loo pick # 2~

The Loos are looking promising now. We’re heading in the right direction and everyone should light up a cigar and celebrate, Look at this beauty…

Ok, yea, it’s some kind of whacked out green but listen! It has more space, more colors though most of them suck with the exception of the floor tile which you have noticed is gray. A couple of aluminum shower rods, the commode is back in a separate room… we are on our way! I like it, 3 stars.

Now, the # 1 pick for the best retro Loo is…

Yea, that is right, stare in awe. This Loo is my favorite of all time. I got one word to say; I don’t see a spec of pink in this Loo, it’s masculine, it’s hip, slick and way too cool AND it’s Numero Uno in my Loo book! I am giving it, no, this Loo undisputedly deserves 5 stars. More if we had them. And let me tell you something, this ain’t no germ factory!

Jayne Mansfield & Her Pink Loo

Besides vintage bathrooms on the rise today are Pink Loo’s. Check it out. Legendary Jayne Mansfield’s home bathroom. Not only is it just freakin weird, how would you find the pepto bismal if you were sick? Check out her windows, the carpeting, the shape of the tub, the ceiling… it doesn’t stop. Click on her picture and the next one is her leaving her pink palace in a pink Cadillac. Pink is a nauseating color, should be outlawed, people who wear pink are a lot off their rocker, statistically, people who drive pink cars get in more serious car accidents than any other color car. The on and only true exception is… well, just ask any guy. There isn’t anything better! Jayne really must have been in love with the color pink!

The Vintage Loo and why we should bring it back… FAST!

Check out the detail in this bathroom; side window columns, wall lamps, I think the feet of the tub have faces on them and the wall tile or marble covers about 3/4 of the wall from floor to ceiling. Just above the wall tile is a robe hook. The double towel racks are great! A lot of the things in here are being brought back by people today when remodeling their bathroom.

Judging by the stool in this bathroom I’ll guess that this person was someone who was pampered and well taken care of.

Love the bathrooms where the commode is in a separate room. This is a design that would be welcomed back!

I have never seen an accessory like this before. My guess is since taking a bath was more common than showering this bowl was to hold clean water to; a) wash your face b) wash/rinse your hair c) I don’t have a clue what this thing is other than I will be obsessed with the thought until I do know what it was used for. Anyone know?

When you get a look at true craftsmanship of anything that shows imagination, love for the work, minute detail it is usually something from years ago. Today it comes down to spend less money in every way possible when making something then charge top dollar for it. The day the Loo dies is the day when we get out of bed in the morning still half asleep, an ache here and there, minor pain in your neck, one knee… and we go straight to the conveyor belt. 5 minutes later we are completely clean from head to toe/inside & out, fully dressed and ready to go. This next design, one that I am sure took some thought and hard work, tells me we are one step closer to “The Belt!”

Bathrooms Refashioned and the little things that can blow it!

First glance at this Loo I thought what a great job! Tight, clean, awesome window, colors… colors, WTF??? There are gold faucets and knobs in this room. Let me tell you something. Actually a few things about gold. Its freakin ugly is the first thing. “Oh, you got a new plasma TV. It looks great! The black trim is nice but it would look so much better in gold. Let me paint it gold for you” I think if you kill someone in your own home it’s considered self defense or insane or… something like that. In Texas it’s considered an everyday occurrence. Wouldn’t it be great if we could sell a state to another country…(a phone conversation between a potential buyer and the USA realtor. by the way, when a state is sold the USA keeps the land obviously but all the people who live in the state must move to their new union within 48 hrs) “Yea, that’s right. Texas is for sale. $1.55. No, that\’s one dollar and 55 cents for the entire state. Sure, you can make payments. I’m sorry? Would we take $0.74? Let me think about tha… ok, only if you take it today. Ok then, congratulations on the purchase of your new state. Now who is this again? Oh yea, well good luck with your new state of Texas. Nice doing business with you as well Iraq and take care 😉 Back to reality, gold is ugly, it always looks cheap even if it’s real, it shows you lack taste and are probably someone who is gaudy, garish and obviously flaunts it. And where? In a damn nice Loo. This bathroom would have looked like they dumped thousands more into the job if they would have used brushed nickel in place of everything that is gold. They totally screwed up. I hope the whole bathroom turns into a moldy green. I’ve said this before and here it is again, Gold is good for one thing only, exchanging for cash.

This near perfect! It’s compact, great for a guest bathroom, it appears to be off the hallway, dark wood, darker counter top, cream tile with some black design… almost perfect. The only thing I would have done differently for literally a couple of bucks and would make it look like a million bucks are the wall plates. White and cream color wallplates have been around since Europe stopped yelling and throwing babies out the window. You have to watch those Europeans, especially when you get into southern Europe. Oh, there’s a small country within a country within a city which is Rome and the country inside Rome is… you tell me and win a prize. Yea, wallplates of cream and white are big time boring. Really boring. We now have options, all kinds of color wallplates which really make a room stand out. I have Italian aged brass in a room or two with black over-sized metal throughout the rest of the place. It makes a huge difference but still, this Loo is great. The colors are smart, thoughtful, you could read in there (actually I can read in any… never mind) And since there are no signs of towels, facecloth’s, soap, in fact I don’t see any accessories. What’s wrong with these people? You have to use the bathroom badly and when you run in with you ex-friend, (by the way, you know how people hold up their one wrist and point at it with their other hand when they want to know the time? Point at your crotch to someone, anyone, the next time you really need the bathroom) and she says; “first door on the left down the hall. You do your business and feel great! Then you notice there is not one single drop of soap, no cloth of any type, not even a bathmat. You say screw it and that you\’ll dry you hands on the wallplates. You turn the water handles and nothing. The water has been turned off. Why in God’s name do these people have a bathroom here for??? You reach under the sink and take the valve handles off after turn both up to full power, you take the toilet valve handle after you turn it off and you were lucky enough to loosen the drainpipe under the sink. You walk out and say; ” See you soon Mrs Cleaver. If you decide to remodel again soon they have some great wallplates at Sewol” Aside from this mess this is a great looking small Loo.