Expose the Brick (not yourself) in those Loo’s

People get an itch, decide to do some remodeling at home and then spend days on end reading about what they’re going to do. From Idiots for dumbshits books to bookmarking bobvila.com. I encourage a different approach… just start ripping shit apart and hope for the best. I’ve been “really zapped” a few times, smashed every finger (and thumb) on my left hand with a hammer countless times, drilled my leg once and when it comes to the utility knife (the razor) I now wear metal gloves. The funny thing about a razor cut is you don’t feel it for a few seconds but still end up screaming like a little girl BEFORE the cut even happens but you see it coming and it’s too late to put the breaks on. That’s the physical pain you can expect. Then the psychology of it kicks in and this is actually more painful. You start talking to the”whatever” it is you’re working on. One time I started arguing with the toilet. I was putting a new one in and was down to removing the last bolt. I am already pissed because of the lack of space that is usually around toilets. I tried maneuvering every which way I could and just couldn’t get that freakin bolt to do anything. Then it happens out of nowhere, you take a step back and start saying things like; “so, you want to play games huh? I can play games too! I have an idea toilet, let’s play smash the toilet to smithereens in 13 seconds or less. What’s that? Who else is playing? Well there is me, you and of course Sledge Hammer. He loves this game. In fact, I think I hear him at the door now. I’ll be right back” your family can probably have you locked up for this. By golly though, the next thing I know is I am “sweeping” the toilet out of the bathroom and I feel great! There are easier ways but letting you know what can happen to the mind when tackling a DIY home improvement job. Then the fun part, every once in a while people find some gems in their walls. The stuff that ends up being worth a fortune is great. However, I am more fascinated about how it got there and why was it left there. We never hear about that part of the story. So the project for the ambitious lately has been exposing brick walls in the bathroom. It adds character, gives an industrial look to a place that is very urban and frankly, I think it just looks awesome. Here they are…

There’s too much going on so close to the brick that it takes you away from it. I like the candles in the brick as it actually enhances it. Everything else should be spread out. But, maybe space is an issue. It’s cool.

This is ok but lacking the nitty-gritty, sledgehammer feel.

I like this one. At first the blue/green colors threw me off but after staring at it for a minute I found myself really liking it.

Very cool.

I love this one!

I gaurantee this person has OCD ~

This is obviously a small bathroom and props on a job well done. If there were only a brick wall exposed it would be awesome!

Urban Loo work in progress

You know, she was a sex symbol in her time but this is just weird. First of all who ever designed this thing was on acid. Secondly, whoever built it was taking it as well. This thing will make a person puke. And look at the front of the tub, it looks like a homemade coffin made out of used wood. Most of the paint has peeled off. Those bathroom windows look like they came out of a whore motel. I would just blow up and start all over again.

and finally…

I understand it, but I will NEVER use it! There are three things right off the top of my head that are wrong with this. London has a problem with people urinating outside, downtown where it's busy and crowded. 1) Where do they put these where they are not offensive? 2) Where will these be placed that only the outdoor pissers know where they are? This is a disease factory. Something tells me this will backfire. I hope not but this just does not look good. And 3) I think the designer overlooked one thing, what if you're really short? For a city that has an uppity attitude, an unequaled pride regarding their own culture you would have expected them to come up with something with a little more thought behind it. Also, it gives the pissers the green light that pissing in public is A-OK. It's a reprehensible and disgraceful solution for the people of London.

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Web Trends in 2010

1) Employee-owned IT
Traditionally, IT departments decide what kind of computers and software employees use and they take responsibility for all maintenance chores. Younger workers, however, have grown up choosing their own computers and applications and want to keep their personalized computing styles. Enter employee-owned IT, which sees workers bringing their own computers to work so that IT can lock them down with virtualization or multiple operating systems that deliver security. IT departments save as maintenance devolves to computer vendors, while employees swear they are more productive using a machine of their choice.

2) Web Analytics as part of Enterprise BI and Dashboards.
Web Analytics in many organizations is still an orphan with no real parents. Every department looks at its data but rarely does it get a strategic priority as an indicator of business trends and business intelligence asset. Investment in web analytics allows for customer insights, marketing spend ROI, conversion optimization and can impact the bottom line. As companies invest in sophisticated BI and analytical dashboards, web based data that is not transactional is usually not there. Integrating web traffic and user interest data into these systems can result in new insights and better actionable data.

3) Approaching Social Networking and Collaboration in a Strategic way
Everyone now realizes the power of social networks and is rushing to get in, establish a FaceBook page, a Twitter account and get’s their PR to sprawl the web to “engage” people. Internally, companies are haphazardly trying various collaboration methods. We see a maturity process happening through 2009 that will force companies to look at all their collaboration points in a strategic way and tie them to business goals and processes. This new approach will transform them from toys to tools and will establish their place and value in the new order.

4) Mobility, Telecommuting and Virtual Meetings
After years of false starts and niche uses, technologies that untether the work force are racing forward at light speed. Wireless networks are becoming ubiquitous, devices are advancing rapidly, and an array of tools and technologies are making virtual meetings, collaboration and telecommuting a seamless proposition. Thirty-five percent of Baseline survey respondents said they’re expecting the use of these tools to increase in 2010.
BlackBerrys, iPhones, netbooks and a spate of other devices are reshaping the landscape. “Businesses are cutting costs and improving their productivity through mobility initiatives,” observes Dan Shey, mobile services practice director at ABI Research. However, at the same time, workers are demanding control over what devices they use and how they use them. “The consumerization of IT is in full swing,” adds Sean Ryan, mobile research analyst at IDC.
A bigger challenge for 2010 involves managing mobile devices and ensuring tight security, Ryan explains. Most organizations need to address these issues in a more comprehensive and holistic way—through better device administration technology and policies. In fact, telecommuting barriers have completely broken down due to the widespread and common use of mobile tools that work across platforms.

This connected and collaborative environment also promises to usher in better desktop video conferencing, along with more advanced telepresence capabilities. The widespread availability of high-bandwidth networks, along with more sophisticated and less-expensive technologies, makes it possible for organizations to work virtually and seamlessly. After years of hype, tools such as Skype, WebEx and Cisco TelePresence—along with widespread high-bandwidth connections—make cross-platform group connectivity and, in some cases, HD video an attractive and viable option.

5) Cloud computing…
has taken the business world by storm! Two-thirds of Baseline survey respondents plan to expand the use of public clouds, which reside on the Internet, provide access to shared computing resources and are operated by third-party providers. Sixty-four percent said they’re interested in private clouds, which, according to the National Institute of Standards and Technology, are “owned or leased by a single organization and operated solely for that organization.”
A growing number of organizations are turning to clouds to manage various applications, including basic word processing and spreadsheets through Google, CRM tools, ERP and databases. Indeed, most major enterprise application vendors have adapted their applications to run in the cloud—or they are planning to do so.
Organizations are also turning to clouds to keep mobile data in sync. Apple, Research in Motion and other vendors have simplified syncing contacts, e-mails, notes and calendar items across multiple devices.
Meanwhile, Amazon’s Elastic Compute Cloud (EC2) allows organizations to access resizable virtualized compute capacity across multiple operating systems, including Windows, Linux and Solaris. Microsoft recently introduced Windows Azure, a platform that lets developers create new Microsoft-compatible tools and applications in a cloud-based environment. And Unisys announced the Secure Private Cloud Solution, which optimizes storage virtualization and provides enhancements for internal data centers and business continuity.

Bathrooms you shouldn’t touch… ever! If you do, don’t start handshaking, just don’t.

This is the FashionLoo after 3:00am edition that comes out once every… this is the first edition. Enjoy!

Have you ever stepped in to use a restroom, right, at a gas station and they’re MF’ing disgusting. There is something fascinating about this though. As soon as you realize that the room you just entered could very well hold some kind of weapon of mass destruction you IMMEDIATELY have this, this mastery, this particular activity adeptness to use your feet to turn things on like a ceiling fan only to discover it doesn’t work. Why in the world would it work anyway??? You can flip the toilet seat up/down, (trust me, in my case it ain’t never going down in a Loo like this) and if the water works it’s freakin astonishing that you can adjust the hot and cold to warm (two handle faucet) flush the toilet and two top it off the last three things are the proof that you are gifted. You are not just a winner but you’re a champion. You’re the maestro at maneuvering your way around a hole in the wall shitter and operating everything in there with your feet only. 1) When we are done what do we do? Wash our hands. I don’t know about you but my hands never came out of my pockets but I still wash them. 2) Somehow, and not sure how, I do get my hands dry. Yea, paper towels in this Loo would be… never mind. No way is there paper towels in this shit-hole. Get over it. Somehow we do get them dry and we’re not using our clothes. We will them dry. And number 3) is a gas… no kidding huh? Now we zero right on that doorknob and I will die a slow painful death before I touch that thing. I ‘ve used my shirt cuff in the past but I have a tee-shirt on, brilliant white and I am not about to get some gas station “virus” because it really hasn’t been identified yet. The reason it hasn’t been is because the people who have had it haven’t lived long enough for the “virus” and it’s symptoms to be studied. Suddenly, that handle turns, the door flicks wide open and all this with the bottom of your foot. Truly amazing because I struggle with the fear of “touching public door knobs all day” in general. Do you know how many people in one day touch the same door that you do? Gazillions. But because of purell I am able to go outside again. I really should add a #4… once outside you release your breath. You have undertaken this entire task of using a “gasoline station public restroom” operating everything with your feet and the whole time you were holing your breath! Now, not sure about you but think about this, you were in there a long time meaning at least 10 minutes. And if you have BPH and are not on medication then you are in there for at least 1/2 hr. Taking that elusive BPH leak is painful enough all in its own. So if you think about what you have just done with your body, in an environment that does kill coo-coo-rachaz it really does qualify as an eighth wonder of the world. Seriously! Look at some that were once thought of as an 8th wonder; Grande Canyon, Empire State Bldg, natural tunnel in Virginia, Panama Canal and even André the Giant was at one time. If André the Giant can make the list so should Using the Loo at a shit-hole Gasoline Station. I think Stephen King would agree. Take a look at some of the places we’re talking about…

Oh here's a place we can stop at to use the facilities and grab a bite to eat!

Hurry up! Let's go! It was full, I'll use the next one!

Close call but he made it!

this is much more natural than that gas station facility. OCD really bad with this cracker-jack

Forget it! I'll go take my chances with the rattlers...

I'm sure the city meant well but I just couldn't do it.

I can redesign and refashion your curent bathroom into something that will make you stay away from any other Loo. Especially the public facilities. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's n... Call me. You'll be glad you did!

FashionLoo
Call me for a free, no obligation consultation. We can discuss what you want to accomplish with your bathroom, themes, colors, accessories… Depending on the work that will go into your FashionLoo I can give you an estimate right away or email one within 24 hrs

Kindest Regards,

max shapiro
828-676-0803 or 310-869-7764
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com

Let’s just say that the first automobile ever introduced to us post Horse and Buggy were cars that…

looked just like this. And they told us that we could get any color we wanted as long as it’s black. So then, we pickled a black one. We took family vacations in this car, drive to church in it and we would even just sit in it and listen to the ball game.

Then though it was over the years we did notice that every single car looked exactly like this one. A subtle difference here and there but for the most part, this was it

Let’s get it straight… the first car we ever see and use is a great looking BMW 6 series. As the years go by we end up with something that does the job but just isn’t something that we get excited about, certainly not something to show off and don’t ever use it anymore unless we absolutely have to go… somewhere that is. What happened? It made more sense for the manufacturers to spend less/charge more. Pretty clear cut and fast drying. Less material cost less money but the scam called “Inflation and Cost of Living” has converted everyone into a village idiot. The reality of a product and it’s worth is simple; it’s worth is only based on what someone is willing to pay. That’s it. You don’t want to pay $2.00 for a box of brownies then walk away. If you’re willing to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a Barry Bonds steroid home run baseball then good for you. You’re the top village idiot. That baseball is still a baseball. It hasn’t been filled with platinum, pure gold or even uncut whatever. It’s still a rawlings baseball. So now everyone is convinced about inflation, the increase in the costs of running a business, prices continue to skyrocket and though the companies all cut back the consumer still takes it in the rear end. Corporate has a free pass to extortionate pricing. The analogy above with the cars is this;

This one bathroom most people today will not remember. In fact, they will question if there ever were such a bathroom. Well the answer is yes and one with character, modern, luxurious and smart. Notice the commode is in a separate room adjoining the main bathroom. This should have never EVER changed. Use your imagination as to why. Here are a few more that we should have stayed with...

Oh this was certainly a waste of craftsmanship. Someone fire up the bulldozer pronto!

We should just take a torch to this nonsense. What could they have possibly been thinking???

So finally the idea strikes like a bolt of lightning…

It's magnificent! Who designed this? Frank Lloyd Wright? Barry Byrne? So this is what we have accepted for at least the past 50 yrs and we decided it ain't going to survive year 51. See what's coming...

the counter top-formica-granite-whatever sink becomes a beautiful craftsmanship piece of bedroom furniture. It has two sinks and all your drawer clothing is right there. Large enough fo two people. Space is large enough to comfortably get ready for any event. Check it out Jackson…

and it only gets better...

and better...

Now here in the bathroom there is all this additional room. You might be saying but I want a sink in the bathroom, I’ve always had a sink and I am… I interrupt and say ok, shut up you big crybaby and listen to me for a second. Over in this corner where you keep your dust decor…

handsome, compact,fit anywhere, any corner

you could install this one at the base of the tub

pay attention to the cabinet. This is where we go next

Moving on now leaving you with the classic pedestal

Next is a cabinet to store a few things in. Whatever they are. Could be condoms, k-Y, a waterproof vibrator, I don’t care. Just remember, the main vanity has moved into the bedroom. Now pay attention…

look at this, life was never this good

oh.yea-sex-toys-storage-cabinet

Freakin Awesome!

there.it.s-all.she.wrote.space.taken.with.pedestal.and.cabinet-4sqfeet

Now here is something I am very adamant about… shit stinks. Yours stinks even worse. Why they took the commode and stuck it in the the room with everything else still confuses me. There isn’t any amount of money that could be worth that. The toilet belongs and is going back to having it’s own room the size of a walk in closet. It will also accommodate a pedestal sink and medicine “wink-wink” cabinet. Check it out…

Very nice, very nice.

Si! Si!

Adequate. Serves the purpose

The alternative?

This was really Thomas Jefferson's toilet room. Good enough for him, it's good enough to bring back.

Coming tomorrow is the new look in the Loo with all the extra space. This room will become your sanctuary, your oasis, your getaway, you’ll become a bathroom rat. The designs are endless and you’ll love it once you start getting into it or call me for a consultation.

Pink was their favorite color. C’mon, let’s pink inside…

What was the attraction to pink back then?

Well, someone today thinks this is very cool, modern retro.

Oh, oh... a few new colors are coming in.

Too bad it's Pink. Otherwise, it's pretty damn cool!

Look, in the retro days they had bubble gum canisters in the Loo. See it in the far caorner where mirror meets the wall.

It was only a matter of time before someone went out on a limb.

Classic, Aged with the Detail at its Finest. You know, some things should just stay the way they are…

Back on board at The Loo, this bathroom is awesome. Don’t just glance over it but look at the detail… a wired soap dish attached (kind of low for my liking) to the wall, the toilet speaks for itself and I would love to have that exact toilet. Just yanking on that chain to flush would be cool. I know, I know, conserve water and save the planet and I believe in that. But Bono has it covered. Anyway, the toilet is amazing, the door in the corner is kind of interesting. I believe it’s a door, maybe a dutch door, the coat-rack for robes, the stand with what looks like a pitcher & bowl, then the main sink. The plumbing alone is very cool. The walls must be 12 – 15 ft which is enough room to build a loft if someone wanted to. If you look in the mirror there is a reflection of what looks like a large draped window. This must be one hell of a house. The rug alone looks like it cost a fortune. What does this have to do with the average person that goes from paycheck to paycheck? Stimulate ideas. I know I’ll never live in a house like this BUT with imagination and some creative passion you can have a miniature. I have found some great items at thrift stores for a buck or two. Cleaned them up, tightened a screw polished it down to the metal and ended up with something that looks like I paid a lot of money for. I got a couple of antique soap dishes this way. Small and medium sized vases, picked up a great pitcher & bowl (not crazy about the color but it’s in near perfect condition and was $3-) hard wired screen baskets are great for anything and look artsy all cleaned up with a few rolled towels in them. Then the two rusted brass 12” candle holders. I cut off the part that holds the candle (actually I beat the things to death with a hammer because I don’t have a hack-saw and that part eventually broke off. You just gotta hang in there sometimes and make use with what you have) Hung them on the wall with the two bottom ends connecting placing them going in opposite directions. It not only came out great it looks like a very expensive piece of metal wall art. I think they were like a buck a piece. I hung a few corner pieces of crown molding with no intention of going full circle and it looks great. Cost me like $5- I had a small brown pressed wood bathroom cabinet. Nothing special. The kind you would either toss or give to someone if they needed one. Instead, I painted it white, replaced the brown wood knobs with brushed nickel metal knobs and in no time at all I have this stylish artsy cabinet that cost about $15- The ideas are endless. What one thing does for you may not for another so who cares. Hang a soap dish upside down on the ceiling with a small picture in it. When people are using your bathroom they’ll see it and wonder… WTF??? John Lennon was once asked what a particular song meant. His was response was what it meant to him and what it may mean to someone else will have two different meanings so why does it matter what it means to him. Now remember the sidebar with John saying something about the eye of the hurricane when suddenly you realize you’re performing in concert… my interpretation of those words were he just came out of a blackout and hears Paul saying; “for the 10th time now John, start us off” There it is, same song, two different meanings.

Decorative crown molding corner piece

And it all started with this!

An old hallway table, a thrift store mirror, a ceramic or glass basin with a faucet and you just created a unique piece of art.

That’s right. There are probably a million old hallway tables, butcher’s blocks, old beat-up school desk’s or an imperfect piece of wood that was maybe burned a bit at one time. Whatever the piece may be you can make an adjustment here and there, antique it with a bicycle chain by beating the dog snot out of it, throw on some green, yellow, red, black, brown paint… choose the colors you like. Green and brown with the whipped chain looks like an antique over night. Use a rag, sponge and an old stiff paintbrush when applying the paint. The type of finish you get is entirely up to you. I personally like a flat or a semi-gloss. Buy a basin at any major home improvement store that you absolutely love (don’t get hung up on if it “matches” or not. It will) and there are lots of new ones out there, many beautiful ones for under $100. Some simple plumbing accessories, hang the mirror, put a couple of inexpensive side lamps on the wall with the aged Italian brass look and you have a functioning new sink that looks like a million bucks. It’s very cool! Use your imagination, let your heart guide you and you will be brilliant every time.

Check it out…

g. max shapiro
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com
310-869-7764
Call/email for a free, no obligation consultation
Simply put, we deliver nothing less than a QUALITY of work that when completed the results are superior! You will not find better craftsmanship anywhere. And at the rates we can offer you, you’ll bring us back again and again. I guarantee it!

Luxury Loo – You pick which one…

Luxury Loo # 1 – Multiple shots from different angles

Great bathroom. The dark floor is awesome. I have to say though, I would have went with the claw-foot tub instead of what they went with. It’s nice though.

This is a very cool Loo. That green thing hanging in the window has to go though. I think maybe someone there just watched a Martha Stewart show thus the… thing.

An area for the ladies. Very nice, very nice.

This shower must rock! It sure would have been nice to see more of it though.

Toilets just don’t get any better than this one! Why in God’s name that picture is there though must be some kind of sick joke. No, the joke comes when you use the Loo and reach for the toilet paper. Very funny people live in this house… I hope they keep their day jobs.

Luxury Loo # 2~ Hold onto your hats because…

I sit on this throne, therefore I am king. I have all the power, and things I’ll ever need.
But before you go, I know how you’ll vote. Give me a thumbs up, the finger if you won’t 😉

After Vintage we were on the way to creating what we now call the Retro Bathroom. Take a look…

Top 5 picks for the week o 12-07-2009. All Retro. Pick the most popular and win a prize~ I have never been a huge fan of this look primarily for two reasons; 1) They seem to be occupied by old people. Why? I have no idea. Just an observation on my part. 2) I forgot what my number 2 reason was but if I do remember before I’m finished I’ll let you know… They were not very sanitary! I knew I would remember. Some weird transition happened. You could eat off of the plumbing in a vintage Loo then the retro thing happens and I didn’t even want to be near one while eating. Seriously, they took my appetite away. Anyway, my top 5 picks “retro style” for week 12-07-2009-

Retro Loo pick # 5~

No space, incredibly small, it’s a germ motel… I hate it. 1 star.

Retro Loo pick # 4~

What is with the color pink? It seems like 8 out 10 retro bathrooms were pink back then. Is this because of Jayne Mansfield? There is something about the color pink that makes me want to vomit. No matter what shade it is I get a sudden urge to puke. I hate this Loo. 1 star!

Retro Loo pick # 3~

It’s getting better. I think the general population saw how disgusting their bathrooms had become so a change was in order. This next one at least makes an attempt to do something to get away from the crap that was being built and billed as “modern bathrooms” with all the comforts you can imagine… I would yell at the TV when I was a kid and tell the guy doing the commercial to go F–k himself then get up and go have a smoke I was so disgusted. But check this out…

Put your guns back in your holsters and calm down. Yea, it’s Pepto Dismal Pink BUT look at the gray towels above the toilet… huh? And then there’s some BS here and there that have normal colors for a man. Hey, just understand this if you’re thinking of ever running for office for any seat, change happens slowly. But it’s a positive change, God bless the guy who put these towels and thing-a-ma-jigs on the wall. This Loo gets 3 stars!

Retro Loo pick # 2~

The Loos are looking promising now. We’re heading in the right direction and everyone should light up a cigar and celebrate, Look at this beauty…

Ok, yea, it’s some kind of whacked out green but listen! It has more space, more colors though most of them suck with the exception of the floor tile which you have noticed is gray. A couple of aluminum shower rods, the commode is back in a separate room… we are on our way! I like it, 3 stars.

Now, the # 1 pick for the best retro Loo is…

Yea, that is right, stare in awe. This Loo is my favorite of all time. I got one word to say; I don’t see a spec of pink in this Loo, it’s masculine, it’s hip, slick and way too cool AND it’s Numero Uno in my Loo book! I am giving it, no, this Loo undisputedly deserves 5 stars. More if we had them. And let me tell you something, this ain’t no germ factory!

Jayne Mansfield & Her Pink Loo

Besides vintage bathrooms on the rise today are Pink Loo’s. Check it out. Legendary Jayne Mansfield’s home bathroom. Not only is it just freakin weird, how would you find the pepto bismal if you were sick? Check out her windows, the carpeting, the shape of the tub, the ceiling… it doesn’t stop. Click on her picture and the next one is her leaving her pink palace in a pink Cadillac. Pink is a nauseating color, should be outlawed, people who wear pink are a lot off their rocker, statistically, people who drive pink cars get in more serious car accidents than any other color car. The on and only true exception is… well, just ask any guy. There isn’t anything better! Jayne really must have been in love with the color pink!