Expose the Brick (not yourself) in those Loo’s

People get an itch, decide to do some remodeling at home and then spend days on end reading about what they’re going to do. From Idiots for dumbshits books to bookmarking bobvila.com. I encourage a different approach… just start ripping shit apart and hope for the best. I’ve been “really zapped” a few times, smashed every finger (and thumb) on my left hand with a hammer countless times, drilled my leg once and when it comes to the utility knife (the razor) I now wear metal gloves. The funny thing about a razor cut is you don’t feel it for a few seconds but still end up screaming like a little girl BEFORE the cut even happens but you see it coming and it’s too late to put the breaks on. That’s the physical pain you can expect. Then the psychology of it kicks in and this is actually more painful. You start talking to the”whatever” it is you’re working on. One time I started arguing with the toilet. I was putting a new one in and was down to removing the last bolt. I am already pissed because of the lack of space that is usually around toilets. I tried maneuvering every which way I could and just couldn’t get that freakin bolt to do anything. Then it happens out of nowhere, you take a step back and start saying things like; “so, you want to play games huh? I can play games too! I have an idea toilet, let’s play smash the toilet to smithereens in 13 seconds or less. What’s that? Who else is playing? Well there is me, you and of course Sledge Hammer. He loves this game. In fact, I think I hear him at the door now. I’ll be right back” your family can probably have you locked up for this. By golly though, the next thing I know is I am “sweeping” the toilet out of the bathroom and I feel great! There are easier ways but letting you know what can happen to the mind when tackling a DIY home improvement job. Then the fun part, every once in a while people find some gems in their walls. The stuff that ends up being worth a fortune is great. However, I am more fascinated about how it got there and why was it left there. We never hear about that part of the story. So the project for the ambitious lately has been exposing brick walls in the bathroom. It adds character, gives an industrial look to a place that is very urban and frankly, I think it just looks awesome. Here they are…

There’s too much going on so close to the brick that it takes you away from it. I like the candles in the brick as it actually enhances it. Everything else should be spread out. But, maybe space is an issue. It’s cool.

This is ok but lacking the nitty-gritty, sledgehammer feel.

I like this one. At first the blue/green colors threw me off but after staring at it for a minute I found myself really liking it.

Very cool.

I love this one!

I gaurantee this person has OCD ~

This is obviously a small bathroom and props on a job well done. If there were only a brick wall exposed it would be awesome!

Urban Loo work in progress

You know, she was a sex symbol in her time but this is just weird. First of all who ever designed this thing was on acid. Secondly, whoever built it was taking it as well. This thing will make a person puke. And look at the front of the tub, it looks like a homemade coffin made out of used wood. Most of the paint has peeled off. Those bathroom windows look like they came out of a whore motel. I would just blow up and start all over again.

and finally…

I understand it, but I will NEVER use it! There are three things right off the top of my head that are wrong with this. London has a problem with people urinating outside, downtown where it's busy and crowded. 1) Where do they put these where they are not offensive? 2) Where will these be placed that only the outdoor pissers know where they are? This is a disease factory. Something tells me this will backfire. I hope not but this just does not look good. And 3) I think the designer overlooked one thing, what if you're really short? For a city that has an uppity attitude, an unequaled pride regarding their own culture you would have expected them to come up with something with a little more thought behind it. Also, it gives the pissers the green light that pissing in public is A-OK. It's a reprehensible and disgraceful solution for the people of London.

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Bathrooms you shouldn’t touch… ever! If you do, don’t start handshaking, just don’t.

This is the FashionLoo after 3:00am edition that comes out once every… this is the first edition. Enjoy!

Have you ever stepped in to use a restroom, right, at a gas station and they’re MF’ing disgusting. There is something fascinating about this though. As soon as you realize that the room you just entered could very well hold some kind of weapon of mass destruction you IMMEDIATELY have this, this mastery, this particular activity adeptness to use your feet to turn things on like a ceiling fan only to discover it doesn’t work. Why in the world would it work anyway??? You can flip the toilet seat up/down, (trust me, in my case it ain’t never going down in a Loo like this) and if the water works it’s freakin astonishing that you can adjust the hot and cold to warm (two handle faucet) flush the toilet and two top it off the last three things are the proof that you are gifted. You are not just a winner but you’re a champion. You’re the maestro at maneuvering your way around a hole in the wall shitter and operating everything in there with your feet only. 1) When we are done what do we do? Wash our hands. I don’t know about you but my hands never came out of my pockets but I still wash them. 2) Somehow, and not sure how, I do get my hands dry. Yea, paper towels in this Loo would be… never mind. No way is there paper towels in this shit-hole. Get over it. Somehow we do get them dry and we’re not using our clothes. We will them dry. And number 3) is a gas… no kidding huh? Now we zero right on that doorknob and I will die a slow painful death before I touch that thing. I ‘ve used my shirt cuff in the past but I have a tee-shirt on, brilliant white and I am not about to get some gas station “virus” because it really hasn’t been identified yet. The reason it hasn’t been is because the people who have had it haven’t lived long enough for the “virus” and it’s symptoms to be studied. Suddenly, that handle turns, the door flicks wide open and all this with the bottom of your foot. Truly amazing because I struggle with the fear of “touching public door knobs all day” in general. Do you know how many people in one day touch the same door that you do? Gazillions. But because of purell I am able to go outside again. I really should add a #4… once outside you release your breath. You have undertaken this entire task of using a “gasoline station public restroom” operating everything with your feet and the whole time you were holing your breath! Now, not sure about you but think about this, you were in there a long time meaning at least 10 minutes. And if you have BPH and are not on medication then you are in there for at least 1/2 hr. Taking that elusive BPH leak is painful enough all in its own. So if you think about what you have just done with your body, in an environment that does kill coo-coo-rachaz it really does qualify as an eighth wonder of the world. Seriously! Look at some that were once thought of as an 8th wonder; Grande Canyon, Empire State Bldg, natural tunnel in Virginia, Panama Canal and even André the Giant was at one time. If André the Giant can make the list so should Using the Loo at a shit-hole Gasoline Station. I think Stephen King would agree. Take a look at some of the places we’re talking about…

Oh here's a place we can stop at to use the facilities and grab a bite to eat!

Hurry up! Let's go! It was full, I'll use the next one!

Close call but he made it!

this is much more natural than that gas station facility. OCD really bad with this cracker-jack

Forget it! I'll go take my chances with the rattlers...

I'm sure the city meant well but I just couldn't do it.

I can redesign and refashion your curent bathroom into something that will make you stay away from any other Loo. Especially the public facilities. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's n... Call me. You'll be glad you did!

FashionLoo
Call me for a free, no obligation consultation. We can discuss what you want to accomplish with your bathroom, themes, colors, accessories… Depending on the work that will go into your FashionLoo I can give you an estimate right away or email one within 24 hrs

Kindest Regards,

max shapiro
828-676-0803 or 310-869-7764
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com