Expose the Brick (not yourself) in those Loo’s

People get an itch, decide to do some remodeling at home and then spend days on end reading about what they’re going to do. From Idiots for dumbshits books to bookmarking bobvila.com. I encourage a different approach… just start ripping shit apart and hope for the best. I’ve been “really zapped” a few times, smashed every finger (and thumb) on my left hand with a hammer countless times, drilled my leg once and when it comes to the utility knife (the razor) I now wear metal gloves. The funny thing about a razor cut is you don’t feel it for a few seconds but still end up screaming like a little girl BEFORE the cut even happens but you see it coming and it’s too late to put the breaks on. That’s the physical pain you can expect. Then the psychology of it kicks in and this is actually more painful. You start talking to the”whatever” it is you’re working on. One time I started arguing with the toilet. I was putting a new one in and was down to removing the last bolt. I am already pissed because of the lack of space that is usually around toilets. I tried maneuvering every which way I could and just couldn’t get that freakin bolt to do anything. Then it happens out of nowhere, you take a step back and start saying things like; “so, you want to play games huh? I can play games too! I have an idea toilet, let’s play smash the toilet to smithereens in 13 seconds or less. What’s that? Who else is playing? Well there is me, you and of course Sledge Hammer. He loves this game. In fact, I think I hear him at the door now. I’ll be right back” your family can probably have you locked up for this. By golly though, the next thing I know is I am “sweeping” the toilet out of the bathroom and I feel great! There are easier ways but letting you know what can happen to the mind when tackling a DIY home improvement job. Then the fun part, every once in a while people find some gems in their walls. The stuff that ends up being worth a fortune is great. However, I am more fascinated about how it got there and why was it left there. We never hear about that part of the story. So the project for the ambitious lately has been exposing brick walls in the bathroom. It adds character, gives an industrial look to a place that is very urban and frankly, I think it just looks awesome. Here they are…

There’s too much going on so close to the brick that it takes you away from it. I like the candles in the brick as it actually enhances it. Everything else should be spread out. But, maybe space is an issue. It’s cool.

This is ok but lacking the nitty-gritty, sledgehammer feel.

I like this one. At first the blue/green colors threw me off but after staring at it for a minute I found myself really liking it.

Very cool.

I love this one!

I gaurantee this person has OCD ~

This is obviously a small bathroom and props on a job well done. If there were only a brick wall exposed it would be awesome!

Urban Loo work in progress

You know, she was a sex symbol in her time but this is just weird. First of all who ever designed this thing was on acid. Secondly, whoever built it was taking it as well. This thing will make a person puke. And look at the front of the tub, it looks like a homemade coffin made out of used wood. Most of the paint has peeled off. Those bathroom windows look like they came out of a whore motel. I would just blow up and start all over again.

and finally…

I understand it, but I will NEVER use it! There are three things right off the top of my head that are wrong with this. London has a problem with people urinating outside, downtown where it's busy and crowded. 1) Where do they put these where they are not offensive? 2) Where will these be placed that only the outdoor pissers know where they are? This is a disease factory. Something tells me this will backfire. I hope not but this just does not look good. And 3) I think the designer overlooked one thing, what if you're really short? For a city that has an uppity attitude, an unequaled pride regarding their own culture you would have expected them to come up with something with a little more thought behind it. Also, it gives the pissers the green light that pissing in public is A-OK. It's a reprehensible and disgraceful solution for the people of London.

You’re four of the closest guys and known everywhere…

But somehow after the years go by, and really not all that many, you end up splitting apart because of creative differences, what appears to be hatred, bitterness towards one another or anything and everything. How does this happen when you were all having so much fun at one time… shit happens so you say fuck you and move on or else you die. Let’s roll down Penny Lane… From their first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show 74million people watched them perform to screaming females. This was just a taste of what was yet to come as millions and millions more would soon be taken by them. From 1963 – 1966 The Beatles released 14 albums in the US. Unfreakin heard of today. Takes a rock band today 3 years to sober up after their first hit record. The Beatles had 14 very upbeat, love songs, sappy sometimes, goofy and all were popular. They had that chemistry, they had fun, people loved them and they were different. Then in 1967, The Beatles released Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band and Magical Mystery Tour. Two great albums!

A Beatles fanatic could study this album cover for hours and then it gets a bit creepy. The Beatles had definitely gone from those happy love songs to a darker side with the laughing maniacal clown as the ring leader. Or it was the acid.

The music was different, edgy, intense, there was some kind of movement going on, there was Vietnam, there was racial tension everywhere and there were The Beatles. They were four young guys who formed a band and man, did they hit it big. They became so well known throughout the world that a year earlier, 1966, Lennon had made some stupid comment that the kids were paying more attention to The Beatles than they were to Jesus, or God, or Religion or whatever it was. It was one of those stupid comments that as soon as the last word begins to roll off your tongue you are already thinking, what the fuck did I say that for??? I didn’t know John personally but I do believe he didn’t mean it the way people took it. People like the KKK, people like the ones in the southeast part of the country who at the time hated anyone who wasn’t just like them, ran to the streets to burn Beatle albums. The whole thing was really over-analyzed. John was like 26 at the time with a pocketful of money and a pocket full of dope. I wouldn’t have expected him to say anything profound, would you? He was simply a rock star with a lot of talent but by any fetch of the imagination was he the devil. It’s now 2 days shy of a year since MMT and The Beatles released a great album by no surprise, a double album at that and were advised to hold back on the additional album but obviously they did not and got their way, The White Album simply titled in black; “The Beatles” and it worked. Not because of the less is more theor but because it was a musical genius. It was Rock n’ Roll never heard before. It was hard, it was soft, it was funny sometimes, it was like listening to a fairytale. In my opinion it has The Beatles best song ever on that album whi is George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”. Too bad George wasn’t aloud to contribute more of his talent that way but how could the Beatles get any bigger? Props to George! Dear Prudence is another great song and the infamous “helter skelter” song because of the Manson murders. This reminds me that the only good thing I can say about Bono today is when I saw U2 in concert he said that Charles Manson stole this song from The Beatles and tonight he was taking it back to them. As corny as it sounds it was very touching. This is 1968, were at a loss as far as a solution goes to the Vietnam war, muscle cars were becoming stronger, drugs were everywhere and easy to get. The White Album somehow represented everything that was gong on back then. Just months earlier before the release of the white album Bobby Kennedy had been assassinated by Sirhan Sirhan at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. Bobby was celebrating his successful campaign in the California primary elections while seeking the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. The music of The Beatles didn’t make things better but it did make you forget for a few minutes. Not such a bad thing.

Pop culture

Things and people change...

The Beatles released two albums in 1969. January 13th The Beatles released Yellow Submarine which did absolutely nothing for me. It just wasn’t happening on that album and The Beatles knew that as well. It was probably one of those albums that should have been sat on, put in the vault, let’s keep working it… toss it man. It was 40 minutes/12 seconds of whatever music. It just wasn’t there. Was this the beginning of the end?

It was like a bad comic book.

But just a short 10 months later The Beatles released one of their masterpieces, Abby Road!

Man, if Yellow Submarine was changing your taste in music regarding the Beatles, Abbey Road lured you right back in. It was fucking awesome work. Both the album cover and the music. No surprise though. There are 70 parody covers of this album on this page.

http://www.amiright.com/album-covers/abbey-road-parodies/

Technically, this was it for The Beatles. John wanted out, they were fighting all the time, George thought the band was ridiculous as he was by far the most talented one, Ringo was along for the ride and hoping for the best (not as in Pete) Paul thought The Beatles were the movement while John kept trying to get him to understand that The Beatles were only a part of “the movement”. ABBEY ROAD was recorded in the summer of 1969 and was the last album recorded by the Beatles (LET IT BE was released in 1970, but recorded in early ’69).

Thanks for the memories guys. They, and you, will never be forgotten!

John went on with Yoko and formed The Plastic Ono Band which sucked. It was full of anger and shit Lennon never dealt with. However, he came through the other side and began writing beautiful music/songs starting with Imagine. Unfortunately, just when John seemed really comfortable in his own skin and enjoying the success of the album Double Fantasy he was shot and killed by a crazed fan Mark David Chapman who ironically had just gotten John to sign his Double Fantasy album. It makes you wonder what is wrong with people. John was 40.

George Harrison did a lot of charitable music. The most famous being the concert for Bangladesh which when you think about it George was also very spiritual and always wanting to give rather than take. Very admirable of him. Imagine George taking 200 million to perform. He probably would then give it to a poor country. Huge props for George! George passed away on 11/29/2001 at the age of 58.

Ringo goes around the country talking to people and doing his; “Ringo and his all star band” gigs. I’ve seen it once and it’s fine. He’s enjoying himself and having fun.

Paul is unquestionably the most successful Beatle. He went on to perform solo, then formed Wings, then went solo again and has been for 20 – 25 years or more now. Paul seemed to be grounded and together until his wife Linda passed away. Then it was like the nut finally fell from the tree and it married Heather Mills. I’m not knocking the handicap at all as I have a few of my own… but c’mon Paul. You were a freakin Beatle, a great solo career, Wings was way cool at the time and you end up with hop-scotch Mills who was a rippin bitch. What, you were married about 8 weeks and she wanted half of what you acquired throughout your life? Stay single Paul or talk to Rod Stewart the next time you get the itch.

Bringing it home with a trivia question; When The Beatles first toured America, what city is the only city they did not sell out to full capacity?

Name the state(s) in the US that have the cleanest and well stocked restrooms only in rest areas.

The state with the highest number that peeople have chosen will win 1 (one free basket of toiletries to share amongst the people who participated. And who says you can’t bet something for nothing. Cpntest rules: no cheating and you know who you are.
The contest starts today at 1:00pm pst and ends at 9:00pm tonight pst. Get your memorydex of restrooms in rest areas across America and send in your answers. Let’s have fun!

Don't forget to tip the gnome. Game to begin in 10 minutes

Published in: on January 3, 2010 at 8:52 pm  Comments (1)  
Tags: , , , ,

Let’s just say that the first automobile ever introduced to us post Horse and Buggy were cars that…

looked just like this. And they told us that we could get any color we wanted as long as it’s black. So then, we pickled a black one. We took family vacations in this car, drive to church in it and we would even just sit in it and listen to the ball game.

Then though it was over the years we did notice that every single car looked exactly like this one. A subtle difference here and there but for the most part, this was it

Let’s get it straight… the first car we ever see and use is a great looking BMW 6 series. As the years go by we end up with something that does the job but just isn’t something that we get excited about, certainly not something to show off and don’t ever use it anymore unless we absolutely have to go… somewhere that is. What happened? It made more sense for the manufacturers to spend less/charge more. Pretty clear cut and fast drying. Less material cost less money but the scam called “Inflation and Cost of Living” has converted everyone into a village idiot. The reality of a product and it’s worth is simple; it’s worth is only based on what someone is willing to pay. That’s it. You don’t want to pay $2.00 for a box of brownies then walk away. If you’re willing to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a Barry Bonds steroid home run baseball then good for you. You’re the top village idiot. That baseball is still a baseball. It hasn’t been filled with platinum, pure gold or even uncut whatever. It’s still a rawlings baseball. So now everyone is convinced about inflation, the increase in the costs of running a business, prices continue to skyrocket and though the companies all cut back the consumer still takes it in the rear end. Corporate has a free pass to extortionate pricing. The analogy above with the cars is this;

This one bathroom most people today will not remember. In fact, they will question if there ever were such a bathroom. Well the answer is yes and one with character, modern, luxurious and smart. Notice the commode is in a separate room adjoining the main bathroom. This should have never EVER changed. Use your imagination as to why. Here are a few more that we should have stayed with...

Oh this was certainly a waste of craftsmanship. Someone fire up the bulldozer pronto!

We should just take a torch to this nonsense. What could they have possibly been thinking???

So finally the idea strikes like a bolt of lightning…

It's magnificent! Who designed this? Frank Lloyd Wright? Barry Byrne? So this is what we have accepted for at least the past 50 yrs and we decided it ain't going to survive year 51. See what's coming...

the counter top-formica-granite-whatever sink becomes a beautiful craftsmanship piece of bedroom furniture. It has two sinks and all your drawer clothing is right there. Large enough fo two people. Space is large enough to comfortably get ready for any event. Check it out Jackson…

and it only gets better...

and better...

Now here in the bathroom there is all this additional room. You might be saying but I want a sink in the bathroom, I’ve always had a sink and I am… I interrupt and say ok, shut up you big crybaby and listen to me for a second. Over in this corner where you keep your dust decor…

handsome, compact,fit anywhere, any corner

you could install this one at the base of the tub

pay attention to the cabinet. This is where we go next

Moving on now leaving you with the classic pedestal

Next is a cabinet to store a few things in. Whatever they are. Could be condoms, k-Y, a waterproof vibrator, I don’t care. Just remember, the main vanity has moved into the bedroom. Now pay attention…

look at this, life was never this good

oh.yea-sex-toys-storage-cabinet

Freakin Awesome!

there.it.s-all.she.wrote.space.taken.with.pedestal.and.cabinet-4sqfeet

Now here is something I am very adamant about… shit stinks. Yours stinks even worse. Why they took the commode and stuck it in the the room with everything else still confuses me. There isn’t any amount of money that could be worth that. The toilet belongs and is going back to having it’s own room the size of a walk in closet. It will also accommodate a pedestal sink and medicine “wink-wink” cabinet. Check it out…

Very nice, very nice.

Si! Si!

Adequate. Serves the purpose

The alternative?

This was really Thomas Jefferson's toilet room. Good enough for him, it's good enough to bring back.

Coming tomorrow is the new look in the Loo with all the extra space. This room will become your sanctuary, your oasis, your getaway, you’ll become a bathroom rat. The designs are endless and you’ll love it once you start getting into it or call me for a consultation.

Pink was their favorite color. C’mon, let’s pink inside…

What was the attraction to pink back then?

Well, someone today thinks this is very cool, modern retro.

Oh, oh... a few new colors are coming in.

Too bad it's Pink. Otherwise, it's pretty damn cool!

Look, in the retro days they had bubble gum canisters in the Loo. See it in the far caorner where mirror meets the wall.

It was only a matter of time before someone went out on a limb.

Classic, Aged with the Detail at its Finest. You know, some things should just stay the way they are…

Back on board at The Loo, this bathroom is awesome. Don’t just glance over it but look at the detail… a wired soap dish attached (kind of low for my liking) to the wall, the toilet speaks for itself and I would love to have that exact toilet. Just yanking on that chain to flush would be cool. I know, I know, conserve water and save the planet and I believe in that. But Bono has it covered. Anyway, the toilet is amazing, the door in the corner is kind of interesting. I believe it’s a door, maybe a dutch door, the coat-rack for robes, the stand with what looks like a pitcher & bowl, then the main sink. The plumbing alone is very cool. The walls must be 12 – 15 ft which is enough room to build a loft if someone wanted to. If you look in the mirror there is a reflection of what looks like a large draped window. This must be one hell of a house. The rug alone looks like it cost a fortune. What does this have to do with the average person that goes from paycheck to paycheck? Stimulate ideas. I know I’ll never live in a house like this BUT with imagination and some creative passion you can have a miniature. I have found some great items at thrift stores for a buck or two. Cleaned them up, tightened a screw polished it down to the metal and ended up with something that looks like I paid a lot of money for. I got a couple of antique soap dishes this way. Small and medium sized vases, picked up a great pitcher & bowl (not crazy about the color but it’s in near perfect condition and was $3-) hard wired screen baskets are great for anything and look artsy all cleaned up with a few rolled towels in them. Then the two rusted brass 12” candle holders. I cut off the part that holds the candle (actually I beat the things to death with a hammer because I don’t have a hack-saw and that part eventually broke off. You just gotta hang in there sometimes and make use with what you have) Hung them on the wall with the two bottom ends connecting placing them going in opposite directions. It not only came out great it looks like a very expensive piece of metal wall art. I think they were like a buck a piece. I hung a few corner pieces of crown molding with no intention of going full circle and it looks great. Cost me like $5- I had a small brown pressed wood bathroom cabinet. Nothing special. The kind you would either toss or give to someone if they needed one. Instead, I painted it white, replaced the brown wood knobs with brushed nickel metal knobs and in no time at all I have this stylish artsy cabinet that cost about $15- The ideas are endless. What one thing does for you may not for another so who cares. Hang a soap dish upside down on the ceiling with a small picture in it. When people are using your bathroom they’ll see it and wonder… WTF??? John Lennon was once asked what a particular song meant. His was response was what it meant to him and what it may mean to someone else will have two different meanings so why does it matter what it means to him. Now remember the sidebar with John saying something about the eye of the hurricane when suddenly you realize you’re performing in concert… my interpretation of those words were he just came out of a blackout and hears Paul saying; “for the 10th time now John, start us off” There it is, same song, two different meanings.

Decorative crown molding corner piece

And it all started with this!

An old hallway table, a thrift store mirror, a ceramic or glass basin with a faucet and you just created a unique piece of art.

That’s right. There are probably a million old hallway tables, butcher’s blocks, old beat-up school desk’s or an imperfect piece of wood that was maybe burned a bit at one time. Whatever the piece may be you can make an adjustment here and there, antique it with a bicycle chain by beating the dog snot out of it, throw on some green, yellow, red, black, brown paint… choose the colors you like. Green and brown with the whipped chain looks like an antique over night. Use a rag, sponge and an old stiff paintbrush when applying the paint. The type of finish you get is entirely up to you. I personally like a flat or a semi-gloss. Buy a basin at any major home improvement store that you absolutely love (don’t get hung up on if it “matches” or not. It will) and there are lots of new ones out there, many beautiful ones for under $100. Some simple plumbing accessories, hang the mirror, put a couple of inexpensive side lamps on the wall with the aged Italian brass look and you have a functioning new sink that looks like a million bucks. It’s very cool! Use your imagination, let your heart guide you and you will be brilliant every time.

Check it out…

g. max shapiro
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com
310-869-7764
Call/email for a free, no obligation consultation
Simply put, we deliver nothing less than a QUALITY of work that when completed the results are superior! You will not find better craftsmanship anywhere. And at the rates we can offer you, you’ll bring us back again and again. I guarantee it!

Luxury Loo – You pick which one…

Luxury Loo # 1 – Multiple shots from different angles

Great bathroom. The dark floor is awesome. I have to say though, I would have went with the claw-foot tub instead of what they went with. It’s nice though.

This is a very cool Loo. That green thing hanging in the window has to go though. I think maybe someone there just watched a Martha Stewart show thus the… thing.

An area for the ladies. Very nice, very nice.

This shower must rock! It sure would have been nice to see more of it though.

Toilets just don’t get any better than this one! Why in God’s name that picture is there though must be some kind of sick joke. No, the joke comes when you use the Loo and reach for the toilet paper. Very funny people live in this house… I hope they keep their day jobs.

Luxury Loo # 2~ Hold onto your hats because…

I sit on this throne, therefore I am king. I have all the power, and things I’ll ever need.
But before you go, I know how you’ll vote. Give me a thumbs up, the finger if you won’t 😉

After Vintage we were on the way to creating what we now call the Retro Bathroom. Take a look…

Top 5 picks for the week o 12-07-2009. All Retro. Pick the most popular and win a prize~ I have never been a huge fan of this look primarily for two reasons; 1) They seem to be occupied by old people. Why? I have no idea. Just an observation on my part. 2) I forgot what my number 2 reason was but if I do remember before I’m finished I’ll let you know… They were not very sanitary! I knew I would remember. Some weird transition happened. You could eat off of the plumbing in a vintage Loo then the retro thing happens and I didn’t even want to be near one while eating. Seriously, they took my appetite away. Anyway, my top 5 picks “retro style” for week 12-07-2009-

Retro Loo pick # 5~

No space, incredibly small, it’s a germ motel… I hate it. 1 star.

Retro Loo pick # 4~

What is with the color pink? It seems like 8 out 10 retro bathrooms were pink back then. Is this because of Jayne Mansfield? There is something about the color pink that makes me want to vomit. No matter what shade it is I get a sudden urge to puke. I hate this Loo. 1 star!

Retro Loo pick # 3~

It’s getting better. I think the general population saw how disgusting their bathrooms had become so a change was in order. This next one at least makes an attempt to do something to get away from the crap that was being built and billed as “modern bathrooms” with all the comforts you can imagine… I would yell at the TV when I was a kid and tell the guy doing the commercial to go F–k himself then get up and go have a smoke I was so disgusted. But check this out…

Put your guns back in your holsters and calm down. Yea, it’s Pepto Dismal Pink BUT look at the gray towels above the toilet… huh? And then there’s some BS here and there that have normal colors for a man. Hey, just understand this if you’re thinking of ever running for office for any seat, change happens slowly. But it’s a positive change, God bless the guy who put these towels and thing-a-ma-jigs on the wall. This Loo gets 3 stars!

Retro Loo pick # 2~

The Loos are looking promising now. We’re heading in the right direction and everyone should light up a cigar and celebrate, Look at this beauty…

Ok, yea, it’s some kind of whacked out green but listen! It has more space, more colors though most of them suck with the exception of the floor tile which you have noticed is gray. A couple of aluminum shower rods, the commode is back in a separate room… we are on our way! I like it, 3 stars.

Now, the # 1 pick for the best retro Loo is…

Yea, that is right, stare in awe. This Loo is my favorite of all time. I got one word to say; I don’t see a spec of pink in this Loo, it’s masculine, it’s hip, slick and way too cool AND it’s Numero Uno in my Loo book! I am giving it, no, this Loo undisputedly deserves 5 stars. More if we had them. And let me tell you something, this ain’t no germ factory!

Jayne Mansfield & Her Pink Loo

Besides vintage bathrooms on the rise today are Pink Loo’s. Check it out. Legendary Jayne Mansfield’s home bathroom. Not only is it just freakin weird, how would you find the pepto bismal if you were sick? Check out her windows, the carpeting, the shape of the tub, the ceiling… it doesn’t stop. Click on her picture and the next one is her leaving her pink palace in a pink Cadillac. Pink is a nauseating color, should be outlawed, people who wear pink are a lot off their rocker, statistically, people who drive pink cars get in more serious car accidents than any other color car. The on and only true exception is… well, just ask any guy. There isn’t anything better! Jayne really must have been in love with the color pink!