Bathrooms you shouldn’t touch… ever! If you do, don’t start handshaking, just don’t.

This is the FashionLoo after 3:00am edition that comes out once every… this is the first edition. Enjoy!

Have you ever stepped in to use a restroom, right, at a gas station and they’re MF’ing disgusting. There is something fascinating about this though. As soon as you realize that the room you just entered could very well hold some kind of weapon of mass destruction you IMMEDIATELY have this, this mastery, this particular activity adeptness to use your feet to turn things on like a ceiling fan only to discover it doesn’t work. Why in the world would it work anyway??? You can flip the toilet seat up/down, (trust me, in my case it ain’t never going down in a Loo like this) and if the water works it’s freakin astonishing that you can adjust the hot and cold to warm (two handle faucet) flush the toilet and two top it off the last three things are the proof that you are gifted. You are not just a winner but you’re a champion. You’re the maestro at maneuvering your way around a hole in the wall shitter and operating everything in there with your feet only. 1) When we are done what do we do? Wash our hands. I don’t know about you but my hands never came out of my pockets but I still wash them. 2) Somehow, and not sure how, I do get my hands dry. Yea, paper towels in this Loo would be… never mind. No way is there paper towels in this shit-hole. Get over it. Somehow we do get them dry and we’re not using our clothes. We will them dry. And number 3) is a gas… no kidding huh? Now we zero right on that doorknob and I will die a slow painful death before I touch that thing. I ‘ve used my shirt cuff in the past but I have a tee-shirt on, brilliant white and I am not about to get some gas station “virus” because it really hasn’t been identified yet. The reason it hasn’t been is because the people who have had it haven’t lived long enough for the “virus” and it’s symptoms to be studied. Suddenly, that handle turns, the door flicks wide open and all this with the bottom of your foot. Truly amazing because I struggle with the fear of “touching public door knobs all day” in general. Do you know how many people in one day touch the same door that you do? Gazillions. But because of purell I am able to go outside again. I really should add a #4… once outside you release your breath. You have undertaken this entire task of using a “gasoline station public restroom” operating everything with your feet and the whole time you were holing your breath! Now, not sure about you but think about this, you were in there a long time meaning at least 10 minutes. And if you have BPH and are not on medication then you are in there for at least 1/2 hr. Taking that elusive BPH leak is painful enough all in its own. So if you think about what you have just done with your body, in an environment that does kill coo-coo-rachaz it really does qualify as an eighth wonder of the world. Seriously! Look at some that were once thought of as an 8th wonder; Grande Canyon, Empire State Bldg, natural tunnel in Virginia, Panama Canal and even André the Giant was at one time. If André the Giant can make the list so should Using the Loo at a shit-hole Gasoline Station. I think Stephen King would agree. Take a look at some of the places we’re talking about…

Oh here's a place we can stop at to use the facilities and grab a bite to eat!

Hurry up! Let's go! It was full, I'll use the next one!

Close call but he made it!

this is much more natural than that gas station facility. OCD really bad with this cracker-jack

Forget it! I'll go take my chances with the rattlers...

I'm sure the city meant well but I just couldn't do it.

I can redesign and refashion your curent bathroom into something that will make you stay away from any other Loo. Especially the public facilities. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's n... Call me. You'll be glad you did!

FashionLoo
Call me for a free, no obligation consultation. We can discuss what you want to accomplish with your bathroom, themes, colors, accessories… Depending on the work that will go into your FashionLoo I can give you an estimate right away or email one within 24 hrs

Kindest Regards,

max shapiro
828-676-0803 or 310-869-7764
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com

Let’s just say that the first automobile ever introduced to us post Horse and Buggy were cars that…

looked just like this. And they told us that we could get any color we wanted as long as it’s black. So then, we pickled a black one. We took family vacations in this car, drive to church in it and we would even just sit in it and listen to the ball game.

Then though it was over the years we did notice that every single car looked exactly like this one. A subtle difference here and there but for the most part, this was it

Let’s get it straight… the first car we ever see and use is a great looking BMW 6 series. As the years go by we end up with something that does the job but just isn’t something that we get excited about, certainly not something to show off and don’t ever use it anymore unless we absolutely have to go… somewhere that is. What happened? It made more sense for the manufacturers to spend less/charge more. Pretty clear cut and fast drying. Less material cost less money but the scam called “Inflation and Cost of Living” has converted everyone into a village idiot. The reality of a product and it’s worth is simple; it’s worth is only based on what someone is willing to pay. That’s it. You don’t want to pay $2.00 for a box of brownies then walk away. If you’re willing to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a Barry Bonds steroid home run baseball then good for you. You’re the top village idiot. That baseball is still a baseball. It hasn’t been filled with platinum, pure gold or even uncut whatever. It’s still a rawlings baseball. So now everyone is convinced about inflation, the increase in the costs of running a business, prices continue to skyrocket and though the companies all cut back the consumer still takes it in the rear end. Corporate has a free pass to extortionate pricing. The analogy above with the cars is this;

This one bathroom most people today will not remember. In fact, they will question if there ever were such a bathroom. Well the answer is yes and one with character, modern, luxurious and smart. Notice the commode is in a separate room adjoining the main bathroom. This should have never EVER changed. Use your imagination as to why. Here are a few more that we should have stayed with...

Oh this was certainly a waste of craftsmanship. Someone fire up the bulldozer pronto!

We should just take a torch to this nonsense. What could they have possibly been thinking???

So finally the idea strikes like a bolt of lightning…

It's magnificent! Who designed this? Frank Lloyd Wright? Barry Byrne? So this is what we have accepted for at least the past 50 yrs and we decided it ain't going to survive year 51. See what's coming...

the counter top-formica-granite-whatever sink becomes a beautiful craftsmanship piece of bedroom furniture. It has two sinks and all your drawer clothing is right there. Large enough fo two people. Space is large enough to comfortably get ready for any event. Check it out Jackson…

and it only gets better...

and better...

Now here in the bathroom there is all this additional room. You might be saying but I want a sink in the bathroom, I’ve always had a sink and I am… I interrupt and say ok, shut up you big crybaby and listen to me for a second. Over in this corner where you keep your dust decor…

handsome, compact,fit anywhere, any corner

you could install this one at the base of the tub

pay attention to the cabinet. This is where we go next

Moving on now leaving you with the classic pedestal

Next is a cabinet to store a few things in. Whatever they are. Could be condoms, k-Y, a waterproof vibrator, I don’t care. Just remember, the main vanity has moved into the bedroom. Now pay attention…

look at this, life was never this good

oh.yea-sex-toys-storage-cabinet

Freakin Awesome!

there.it.s-all.she.wrote.space.taken.with.pedestal.and.cabinet-4sqfeet

Now here is something I am very adamant about… shit stinks. Yours stinks even worse. Why they took the commode and stuck it in the the room with everything else still confuses me. There isn’t any amount of money that could be worth that. The toilet belongs and is going back to having it’s own room the size of a walk in closet. It will also accommodate a pedestal sink and medicine “wink-wink” cabinet. Check it out…

Very nice, very nice.

Si! Si!

Adequate. Serves the purpose

The alternative?

This was really Thomas Jefferson's toilet room. Good enough for him, it's good enough to bring back.

Coming tomorrow is the new look in the Loo with all the extra space. This room will become your sanctuary, your oasis, your getaway, you’ll become a bathroom rat. The designs are endless and you’ll love it once you start getting into it or call me for a consultation.

Pink was their favorite color. C’mon, let’s pink inside…

What was the attraction to pink back then?

Well, someone today thinks this is very cool, modern retro.

Oh, oh... a few new colors are coming in.

Too bad it's Pink. Otherwise, it's pretty damn cool!

Look, in the retro days they had bubble gum canisters in the Loo. See it in the far caorner where mirror meets the wall.

It was only a matter of time before someone went out on a limb.

Classic, Aged with the Detail at its Finest. You know, some things should just stay the way they are…

Back on board at The Loo, this bathroom is awesome. Don’t just glance over it but look at the detail… a wired soap dish attached (kind of low for my liking) to the wall, the toilet speaks for itself and I would love to have that exact toilet. Just yanking on that chain to flush would be cool. I know, I know, conserve water and save the planet and I believe in that. But Bono has it covered. Anyway, the toilet is amazing, the door in the corner is kind of interesting. I believe it’s a door, maybe a dutch door, the coat-rack for robes, the stand with what looks like a pitcher & bowl, then the main sink. The plumbing alone is very cool. The walls must be 12 – 15 ft which is enough room to build a loft if someone wanted to. If you look in the mirror there is a reflection of what looks like a large draped window. This must be one hell of a house. The rug alone looks like it cost a fortune. What does this have to do with the average person that goes from paycheck to paycheck? Stimulate ideas. I know I’ll never live in a house like this BUT with imagination and some creative passion you can have a miniature. I have found some great items at thrift stores for a buck or two. Cleaned them up, tightened a screw polished it down to the metal and ended up with something that looks like I paid a lot of money for. I got a couple of antique soap dishes this way. Small and medium sized vases, picked up a great pitcher & bowl (not crazy about the color but it’s in near perfect condition and was $3-) hard wired screen baskets are great for anything and look artsy all cleaned up with a few rolled towels in them. Then the two rusted brass 12” candle holders. I cut off the part that holds the candle (actually I beat the things to death with a hammer because I don’t have a hack-saw and that part eventually broke off. You just gotta hang in there sometimes and make use with what you have) Hung them on the wall with the two bottom ends connecting placing them going in opposite directions. It not only came out great it looks like a very expensive piece of metal wall art. I think they were like a buck a piece. I hung a few corner pieces of crown molding with no intention of going full circle and it looks great. Cost me like $5- I had a small brown pressed wood bathroom cabinet. Nothing special. The kind you would either toss or give to someone if they needed one. Instead, I painted it white, replaced the brown wood knobs with brushed nickel metal knobs and in no time at all I have this stylish artsy cabinet that cost about $15- The ideas are endless. What one thing does for you may not for another so who cares. Hang a soap dish upside down on the ceiling with a small picture in it. When people are using your bathroom they’ll see it and wonder… WTF??? John Lennon was once asked what a particular song meant. His was response was what it meant to him and what it may mean to someone else will have two different meanings so why does it matter what it means to him. Now remember the sidebar with John saying something about the eye of the hurricane when suddenly you realize you’re performing in concert… my interpretation of those words were he just came out of a blackout and hears Paul saying; “for the 10th time now John, start us off” There it is, same song, two different meanings.

Decorative crown molding corner piece

And it all started with this!

An old hallway table, a thrift store mirror, a ceramic or glass basin with a faucet and you just created a unique piece of art.

That’s right. There are probably a million old hallway tables, butcher’s blocks, old beat-up school desk’s or an imperfect piece of wood that was maybe burned a bit at one time. Whatever the piece may be you can make an adjustment here and there, antique it with a bicycle chain by beating the dog snot out of it, throw on some green, yellow, red, black, brown paint… choose the colors you like. Green and brown with the whipped chain looks like an antique over night. Use a rag, sponge and an old stiff paintbrush when applying the paint. The type of finish you get is entirely up to you. I personally like a flat or a semi-gloss. Buy a basin at any major home improvement store that you absolutely love (don’t get hung up on if it “matches” or not. It will) and there are lots of new ones out there, many beautiful ones for under $100. Some simple plumbing accessories, hang the mirror, put a couple of inexpensive side lamps on the wall with the aged Italian brass look and you have a functioning new sink that looks like a million bucks. It’s very cool! Use your imagination, let your heart guide you and you will be brilliant every time.

Check it out…

g. max shapiro
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com
310-869-7764
Call/email for a free, no obligation consultation
Simply put, we deliver nothing less than a QUALITY of work that when completed the results are superior! You will not find better craftsmanship anywhere. And at the rates we can offer you, you’ll bring us back again and again. I guarantee it!

Luxury Loo – You pick which one…

Luxury Loo # 1 – Multiple shots from different angles

Great bathroom. The dark floor is awesome. I have to say though, I would have went with the claw-foot tub instead of what they went with. It’s nice though.

This is a very cool Loo. That green thing hanging in the window has to go though. I think maybe someone there just watched a Martha Stewart show thus the… thing.

An area for the ladies. Very nice, very nice.

This shower must rock! It sure would have been nice to see more of it though.

Toilets just don’t get any better than this one! Why in God’s name that picture is there though must be some kind of sick joke. No, the joke comes when you use the Loo and reach for the toilet paper. Very funny people live in this house… I hope they keep their day jobs.

Luxury Loo # 2~ Hold onto your hats because…

I sit on this throne, therefore I am king. I have all the power, and things I’ll ever need.
But before you go, I know how you’ll vote. Give me a thumbs up, the finger if you won’t 😉

After Vintage we were on the way to creating what we now call the Retro Bathroom. Take a look…

Top 5 picks for the week o 12-07-2009. All Retro. Pick the most popular and win a prize~ I have never been a huge fan of this look primarily for two reasons; 1) They seem to be occupied by old people. Why? I have no idea. Just an observation on my part. 2) I forgot what my number 2 reason was but if I do remember before I’m finished I’ll let you know… They were not very sanitary! I knew I would remember. Some weird transition happened. You could eat off of the plumbing in a vintage Loo then the retro thing happens and I didn’t even want to be near one while eating. Seriously, they took my appetite away. Anyway, my top 5 picks “retro style” for week 12-07-2009-

Retro Loo pick # 5~

No space, incredibly small, it’s a germ motel… I hate it. 1 star.

Retro Loo pick # 4~

What is with the color pink? It seems like 8 out 10 retro bathrooms were pink back then. Is this because of Jayne Mansfield? There is something about the color pink that makes me want to vomit. No matter what shade it is I get a sudden urge to puke. I hate this Loo. 1 star!

Retro Loo pick # 3~

It’s getting better. I think the general population saw how disgusting their bathrooms had become so a change was in order. This next one at least makes an attempt to do something to get away from the crap that was being built and billed as “modern bathrooms” with all the comforts you can imagine… I would yell at the TV when I was a kid and tell the guy doing the commercial to go F–k himself then get up and go have a smoke I was so disgusted. But check this out…

Put your guns back in your holsters and calm down. Yea, it’s Pepto Dismal Pink BUT look at the gray towels above the toilet… huh? And then there’s some BS here and there that have normal colors for a man. Hey, just understand this if you’re thinking of ever running for office for any seat, change happens slowly. But it’s a positive change, God bless the guy who put these towels and thing-a-ma-jigs on the wall. This Loo gets 3 stars!

Retro Loo pick # 2~

The Loos are looking promising now. We’re heading in the right direction and everyone should light up a cigar and celebrate, Look at this beauty…

Ok, yea, it’s some kind of whacked out green but listen! It has more space, more colors though most of them suck with the exception of the floor tile which you have noticed is gray. A couple of aluminum shower rods, the commode is back in a separate room… we are on our way! I like it, 3 stars.

Now, the # 1 pick for the best retro Loo is…

Yea, that is right, stare in awe. This Loo is my favorite of all time. I got one word to say; I don’t see a spec of pink in this Loo, it’s masculine, it’s hip, slick and way too cool AND it’s Numero Uno in my Loo book! I am giving it, no, this Loo undisputedly deserves 5 stars. More if we had them. And let me tell you something, this ain’t no germ factory!

Jayne Mansfield & Her Pink Loo

Besides vintage bathrooms on the rise today are Pink Loo’s. Check it out. Legendary Jayne Mansfield’s home bathroom. Not only is it just freakin weird, how would you find the pepto bismal if you were sick? Check out her windows, the carpeting, the shape of the tub, the ceiling… it doesn’t stop. Click on her picture and the next one is her leaving her pink palace in a pink Cadillac. Pink is a nauseating color, should be outlawed, people who wear pink are a lot off their rocker, statistically, people who drive pink cars get in more serious car accidents than any other color car. The on and only true exception is… well, just ask any guy. There isn’t anything better! Jayne really must have been in love with the color pink!

The Vintage Loo and why we should bring it back… FAST!

Check out the detail in this bathroom; side window columns, wall lamps, I think the feet of the tub have faces on them and the wall tile or marble covers about 3/4 of the wall from floor to ceiling. Just above the wall tile is a robe hook. The double towel racks are great! A lot of the things in here are being brought back by people today when remodeling their bathroom.

Judging by the stool in this bathroom I’ll guess that this person was someone who was pampered and well taken care of.

Love the bathrooms where the commode is in a separate room. This is a design that would be welcomed back!

I have never seen an accessory like this before. My guess is since taking a bath was more common than showering this bowl was to hold clean water to; a) wash your face b) wash/rinse your hair c) I don’t have a clue what this thing is other than I will be obsessed with the thought until I do know what it was used for. Anyone know?

When you get a look at true craftsmanship of anything that shows imagination, love for the work, minute detail it is usually something from years ago. Today it comes down to spend less money in every way possible when making something then charge top dollar for it. The day the Loo dies is the day when we get out of bed in the morning still half asleep, an ache here and there, minor pain in your neck, one knee… and we go straight to the conveyor belt. 5 minutes later we are completely clean from head to toe/inside & out, fully dressed and ready to go. This next design, one that I am sure took some thought and hard work, tells me we are one step closer to “The Belt!”

Bathrooms Refashioned and the little things that can blow it!

First glance at this Loo I thought what a great job! Tight, clean, awesome window, colors… colors, WTF??? There are gold faucets and knobs in this room. Let me tell you something. Actually a few things about gold. Its freakin ugly is the first thing. “Oh, you got a new plasma TV. It looks great! The black trim is nice but it would look so much better in gold. Let me paint it gold for you” I think if you kill someone in your own home it’s considered self defense or insane or… something like that. In Texas it’s considered an everyday occurrence. Wouldn’t it be great if we could sell a state to another country…(a phone conversation between a potential buyer and the USA realtor. by the way, when a state is sold the USA keeps the land obviously but all the people who live in the state must move to their new union within 48 hrs) “Yea, that’s right. Texas is for sale. $1.55. No, that\’s one dollar and 55 cents for the entire state. Sure, you can make payments. I’m sorry? Would we take $0.74? Let me think about tha… ok, only if you take it today. Ok then, congratulations on the purchase of your new state. Now who is this again? Oh yea, well good luck with your new state of Texas. Nice doing business with you as well Iraq and take care 😉 Back to reality, gold is ugly, it always looks cheap even if it’s real, it shows you lack taste and are probably someone who is gaudy, garish and obviously flaunts it. And where? In a damn nice Loo. This bathroom would have looked like they dumped thousands more into the job if they would have used brushed nickel in place of everything that is gold. They totally screwed up. I hope the whole bathroom turns into a moldy green. I’ve said this before and here it is again, Gold is good for one thing only, exchanging for cash.

This near perfect! It’s compact, great for a guest bathroom, it appears to be off the hallway, dark wood, darker counter top, cream tile with some black design… almost perfect. The only thing I would have done differently for literally a couple of bucks and would make it look like a million bucks are the wall plates. White and cream color wallplates have been around since Europe stopped yelling and throwing babies out the window. You have to watch those Europeans, especially when you get into southern Europe. Oh, there’s a small country within a country within a city which is Rome and the country inside Rome is… you tell me and win a prize. Yea, wallplates of cream and white are big time boring. Really boring. We now have options, all kinds of color wallplates which really make a room stand out. I have Italian aged brass in a room or two with black over-sized metal throughout the rest of the place. It makes a huge difference but still, this Loo is great. The colors are smart, thoughtful, you could read in there (actually I can read in any… never mind) And since there are no signs of towels, facecloth’s, soap, in fact I don’t see any accessories. What’s wrong with these people? You have to use the bathroom badly and when you run in with you ex-friend, (by the way, you know how people hold up their one wrist and point at it with their other hand when they want to know the time? Point at your crotch to someone, anyone, the next time you really need the bathroom) and she says; “first door on the left down the hall. You do your business and feel great! Then you notice there is not one single drop of soap, no cloth of any type, not even a bathmat. You say screw it and that you\’ll dry you hands on the wallplates. You turn the water handles and nothing. The water has been turned off. Why in God’s name do these people have a bathroom here for??? You reach under the sink and take the valve handles off after turn both up to full power, you take the toilet valve handle after you turn it off and you were lucky enough to loosen the drainpipe under the sink. You walk out and say; ” See you soon Mrs Cleaver. If you decide to remodel again soon they have some great wallplates at Sewol” Aside from this mess this is a great looking small Loo.