Expose the Brick (not yourself) in those Loo’s

People get an itch, decide to do some remodeling at home and then spend days on end reading about what they’re going to do. From Idiots for dumbshits books to bookmarking bobvila.com. I encourage a different approach… just start ripping shit apart and hope for the best. I’ve been “really zapped” a few times, smashed every finger (and thumb) on my left hand with a hammer countless times, drilled my leg once and when it comes to the utility knife (the razor) I now wear metal gloves. The funny thing about a razor cut is you don’t feel it for a few seconds but still end up screaming like a little girl BEFORE the cut even happens but you see it coming and it’s too late to put the breaks on. That’s the physical pain you can expect. Then the psychology of it kicks in and this is actually more painful. You start talking to the”whatever” it is you’re working on. One time I started arguing with the toilet. I was putting a new one in and was down to removing the last bolt. I am already pissed because of the lack of space that is usually around toilets. I tried maneuvering every which way I could and just couldn’t get that freakin bolt to do anything. Then it happens out of nowhere, you take a step back and start saying things like; “so, you want to play games huh? I can play games too! I have an idea toilet, let’s play smash the toilet to smithereens in 13 seconds or less. What’s that? Who else is playing? Well there is me, you and of course Sledge Hammer. He loves this game. In fact, I think I hear him at the door now. I’ll be right back” your family can probably have you locked up for this. By golly though, the next thing I know is I am “sweeping” the toilet out of the bathroom and I feel great! There are easier ways but letting you know what can happen to the mind when tackling a DIY home improvement job. Then the fun part, every once in a while people find some gems in their walls. The stuff that ends up being worth a fortune is great. However, I am more fascinated about how it got there and why was it left there. We never hear about that part of the story. So the project for the ambitious lately has been exposing brick walls in the bathroom. It adds character, gives an industrial look to a place that is very urban and frankly, I think it just looks awesome. Here they are…

There’s too much going on so close to the brick that it takes you away from it. I like the candles in the brick as it actually enhances it. Everything else should be spread out. But, maybe space is an issue. It’s cool.

This is ok but lacking the nitty-gritty, sledgehammer feel.

I like this one. At first the blue/green colors threw me off but after staring at it for a minute I found myself really liking it.

Very cool.

I love this one!

I gaurantee this person has OCD ~

This is obviously a small bathroom and props on a job well done. If there were only a brick wall exposed it would be awesome!

Urban Loo work in progress

You know, she was a sex symbol in her time but this is just weird. First of all who ever designed this thing was on acid. Secondly, whoever built it was taking it as well. This thing will make a person puke. And look at the front of the tub, it looks like a homemade coffin made out of used wood. Most of the paint has peeled off. Those bathroom windows look like they came out of a whore motel. I would just blow up and start all over again.

and finally…

I understand it, but I will NEVER use it! There are three things right off the top of my head that are wrong with this. London has a problem with people urinating outside, downtown where it's busy and crowded. 1) Where do they put these where they are not offensive? 2) Where will these be placed that only the outdoor pissers know where they are? This is a disease factory. Something tells me this will backfire. I hope not but this just does not look good. And 3) I think the designer overlooked one thing, what if you're really short? For a city that has an uppity attitude, an unequaled pride regarding their own culture you would have expected them to come up with something with a little more thought behind it. Also, it gives the pissers the green light that pissing in public is A-OK. It's a reprehensible and disgraceful solution for the people of London.

Periodically the FashionLoo takes a look at the dwellings that some of the Loos are in. Take a look and beginning with number 8 and moving backwards to number 1

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 8 ~ Halle Berry

Very nice, on the beach,Malibu perhaps, very nice.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 7 ~ John Travolta

Mode of transportation for John is flying. Nice parking area for the plane. I am guessing that between jobs he is flying down to Mexico and bringing ... never mind. It's a nice place John.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 6 ~ Jerry Sienfeld

You know, Jerry did exceptionally well financially with the Sienfeld show. He should have gotten better than this modest home.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 5 ~ The Honorable Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger and wife Maria Schwarzenegger

Moved here from Austria with a dream. Could not speak a lick of English and it's actually still questionable today. Though, there have been improvements. Maria? Well, everyone knows the old dough came from Old Man Joe in his bootlegging days.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 4 ~ J. Lo & husband Marc Anthony

Very nice for a couple of people who lack talent and personality. Life is fair.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 3 ~ Funny Man, Eddie Murphy

Someone who controls everything in LA sure must have taken a liking to Eddie. He gets more chances after a bad movie than Evil Knievel did after he road rashed

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 2 ~ Oprah Winfrey

I would expect nothing less from Oprah. And this is only one of her cave's. This one is up in the Santa Barbara, CA area. She dropped $55million for this future 5 star hotel after she sells it.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 1 ~ The notorious, infamous and probably the most hated man in America and especially Los Angeles is a former Heisman Trophy Winner, NFL Super Star, then moved on to acting. Initially booking commercials, became spokesman for samsonite luggage. After a few years of commercial work he hit the big screen with the Airplane movies. Do you know who this abode belongs to yet? Hint: It’s in a private, gated community with added top-shelf security… you know who it is, it’s the home of O.J. “ass-hole, Delusions of Grandeur” Simpson”

I think his shoe closet in his Palisades Diggs was bigger. Oh well Oh well! 😉

After Vintage we were on the way to creating what we now call the Retro Bathroom. Take a look…

Top 5 picks for the week o 12-07-2009. All Retro. Pick the most popular and win a prize~ I have never been a huge fan of this look primarily for two reasons; 1) They seem to be occupied by old people. Why? I have no idea. Just an observation on my part. 2) I forgot what my number 2 reason was but if I do remember before I’m finished I’ll let you know… They were not very sanitary! I knew I would remember. Some weird transition happened. You could eat off of the plumbing in a vintage Loo then the retro thing happens and I didn’t even want to be near one while eating. Seriously, they took my appetite away. Anyway, my top 5 picks “retro style” for week 12-07-2009-

Retro Loo pick # 5~

No space, incredibly small, it’s a germ motel… I hate it. 1 star.

Retro Loo pick # 4~

What is with the color pink? It seems like 8 out 10 retro bathrooms were pink back then. Is this because of Jayne Mansfield? There is something about the color pink that makes me want to vomit. No matter what shade it is I get a sudden urge to puke. I hate this Loo. 1 star!

Retro Loo pick # 3~

It’s getting better. I think the general population saw how disgusting their bathrooms had become so a change was in order. This next one at least makes an attempt to do something to get away from the crap that was being built and billed as “modern bathrooms” with all the comforts you can imagine… I would yell at the TV when I was a kid and tell the guy doing the commercial to go F–k himself then get up and go have a smoke I was so disgusted. But check this out…

Put your guns back in your holsters and calm down. Yea, it’s Pepto Dismal Pink BUT look at the gray towels above the toilet… huh? And then there’s some BS here and there that have normal colors for a man. Hey, just understand this if you’re thinking of ever running for office for any seat, change happens slowly. But it’s a positive change, God bless the guy who put these towels and thing-a-ma-jigs on the wall. This Loo gets 3 stars!

Retro Loo pick # 2~

The Loos are looking promising now. We’re heading in the right direction and everyone should light up a cigar and celebrate, Look at this beauty…

Ok, yea, it’s some kind of whacked out green but listen! It has more space, more colors though most of them suck with the exception of the floor tile which you have noticed is gray. A couple of aluminum shower rods, the commode is back in a separate room… we are on our way! I like it, 3 stars.

Now, the # 1 pick for the best retro Loo is…

Yea, that is right, stare in awe. This Loo is my favorite of all time. I got one word to say; I don’t see a spec of pink in this Loo, it’s masculine, it’s hip, slick and way too cool AND it’s Numero Uno in my Loo book! I am giving it, no, this Loo undisputedly deserves 5 stars. More if we had them. And let me tell you something, this ain’t no germ factory!

Jayne Mansfield & Her Pink Loo

Besides vintage bathrooms on the rise today are Pink Loo’s. Check it out. Legendary Jayne Mansfield’s home bathroom. Not only is it just freakin weird, how would you find the pepto bismal if you were sick? Check out her windows, the carpeting, the shape of the tub, the ceiling… it doesn’t stop. Click on her picture and the next one is her leaving her pink palace in a pink Cadillac. Pink is a nauseating color, should be outlawed, people who wear pink are a lot off their rocker, statistically, people who drive pink cars get in more serious car accidents than any other color car. The on and only true exception is… well, just ask any guy. There isn’t anything better! Jayne really must have been in love with the color pink!