Expose the Brick (not yourself) in those Loo’s

People get an itch, decide to do some remodeling at home and then spend days on end reading about what they’re going to do. From Idiots for dumbshits books to bookmarking bobvila.com. I encourage a different approach… just start ripping shit apart and hope for the best. I’ve been “really zapped” a few times, smashed every finger (and thumb) on my left hand with a hammer countless times, drilled my leg once and when it comes to the utility knife (the razor) I now wear metal gloves. The funny thing about a razor cut is you don’t feel it for a few seconds but still end up screaming like a little girl BEFORE the cut even happens but you see it coming and it’s too late to put the breaks on. That’s the physical pain you can expect. Then the psychology of it kicks in and this is actually more painful. You start talking to the”whatever” it is you’re working on. One time I started arguing with the toilet. I was putting a new one in and was down to removing the last bolt. I am already pissed because of the lack of space that is usually around toilets. I tried maneuvering every which way I could and just couldn’t get that freakin bolt to do anything. Then it happens out of nowhere, you take a step back and start saying things like; “so, you want to play games huh? I can play games too! I have an idea toilet, let’s play smash the toilet to smithereens in 13 seconds or less. What’s that? Who else is playing? Well there is me, you and of course Sledge Hammer. He loves this game. In fact, I think I hear him at the door now. I’ll be right back” your family can probably have you locked up for this. By golly though, the next thing I know is I am “sweeping” the toilet out of the bathroom and I feel great! There are easier ways but letting you know what can happen to the mind when tackling a DIY home improvement job. Then the fun part, every once in a while people find some gems in their walls. The stuff that ends up being worth a fortune is great. However, I am more fascinated about how it got there and why was it left there. We never hear about that part of the story. So the project for the ambitious lately has been exposing brick walls in the bathroom. It adds character, gives an industrial look to a place that is very urban and frankly, I think it just looks awesome. Here they are…

There’s too much going on so close to the brick that it takes you away from it. I like the candles in the brick as it actually enhances it. Everything else should be spread out. But, maybe space is an issue. It’s cool.

This is ok but lacking the nitty-gritty, sledgehammer feel.

I like this one. At first the blue/green colors threw me off but after staring at it for a minute I found myself really liking it.

Very cool.

I love this one!

I gaurantee this person has OCD ~

This is obviously a small bathroom and props on a job well done. If there were only a brick wall exposed it would be awesome!

Urban Loo work in progress

You know, she was a sex symbol in her time but this is just weird. First of all who ever designed this thing was on acid. Secondly, whoever built it was taking it as well. This thing will make a person puke. And look at the front of the tub, it looks like a homemade coffin made out of used wood. Most of the paint has peeled off. Those bathroom windows look like they came out of a whore motel. I would just blow up and start all over again.

and finally…

I understand it, but I will NEVER use it! There are three things right off the top of my head that are wrong with this. London has a problem with people urinating outside, downtown where it's busy and crowded. 1) Where do they put these where they are not offensive? 2) Where will these be placed that only the outdoor pissers know where they are? This is a disease factory. Something tells me this will backfire. I hope not but this just does not look good. And 3) I think the designer overlooked one thing, what if you're really short? For a city that has an uppity attitude, an unequaled pride regarding their own culture you would have expected them to come up with something with a little more thought behind it. Also, it gives the pissers the green light that pissing in public is A-OK. It's a reprehensible and disgraceful solution for the people of London.

Name the state(s) in the US that have the cleanest and well stocked restrooms only in rest areas.

The state with the highest number that peeople have chosen will win 1 (one free basket of toiletries to share amongst the people who participated. And who says you can’t bet something for nothing. Cpntest rules: no cheating and you know who you are.
The contest starts today at 1:00pm pst and ends at 9:00pm tonight pst. Get your memorydex of restrooms in rest areas across America and send in your answers. Let’s have fun!

Don't forget to tip the gnome. Game to begin in 10 minutes

Published in: on January 3, 2010 at 8:52 pm  Comments (1)  
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Bathrooms you shouldn’t touch… ever! If you do, don’t start handshaking, just don’t.

This is the FashionLoo after 3:00am edition that comes out once every… this is the first edition. Enjoy!

Have you ever stepped in to use a restroom, right, at a gas station and they’re MF’ing disgusting. There is something fascinating about this though. As soon as you realize that the room you just entered could very well hold some kind of weapon of mass destruction you IMMEDIATELY have this, this mastery, this particular activity adeptness to use your feet to turn things on like a ceiling fan only to discover it doesn’t work. Why in the world would it work anyway??? You can flip the toilet seat up/down, (trust me, in my case it ain’t never going down in a Loo like this) and if the water works it’s freakin astonishing that you can adjust the hot and cold to warm (two handle faucet) flush the toilet and two top it off the last three things are the proof that you are gifted. You are not just a winner but you’re a champion. You’re the maestro at maneuvering your way around a hole in the wall shitter and operating everything in there with your feet only. 1) When we are done what do we do? Wash our hands. I don’t know about you but my hands never came out of my pockets but I still wash them. 2) Somehow, and not sure how, I do get my hands dry. Yea, paper towels in this Loo would be… never mind. No way is there paper towels in this shit-hole. Get over it. Somehow we do get them dry and we’re not using our clothes. We will them dry. And number 3) is a gas… no kidding huh? Now we zero right on that doorknob and I will die a slow painful death before I touch that thing. I ‘ve used my shirt cuff in the past but I have a tee-shirt on, brilliant white and I am not about to get some gas station “virus” because it really hasn’t been identified yet. The reason it hasn’t been is because the people who have had it haven’t lived long enough for the “virus” and it’s symptoms to be studied. Suddenly, that handle turns, the door flicks wide open and all this with the bottom of your foot. Truly amazing because I struggle with the fear of “touching public door knobs all day” in general. Do you know how many people in one day touch the same door that you do? Gazillions. But because of purell I am able to go outside again. I really should add a #4… once outside you release your breath. You have undertaken this entire task of using a “gasoline station public restroom” operating everything with your feet and the whole time you were holing your breath! Now, not sure about you but think about this, you were in there a long time meaning at least 10 minutes. And if you have BPH and are not on medication then you are in there for at least 1/2 hr. Taking that elusive BPH leak is painful enough all in its own. So if you think about what you have just done with your body, in an environment that does kill coo-coo-rachaz it really does qualify as an eighth wonder of the world. Seriously! Look at some that were once thought of as an 8th wonder; Grande Canyon, Empire State Bldg, natural tunnel in Virginia, Panama Canal and even André the Giant was at one time. If André the Giant can make the list so should Using the Loo at a shit-hole Gasoline Station. I think Stephen King would agree. Take a look at some of the places we’re talking about…

Oh here's a place we can stop at to use the facilities and grab a bite to eat!

Hurry up! Let's go! It was full, I'll use the next one!

Close call but he made it!

this is much more natural than that gas station facility. OCD really bad with this cracker-jack

Forget it! I'll go take my chances with the rattlers...

I'm sure the city meant well but I just couldn't do it.

I can redesign and refashion your curent bathroom into something that will make you stay away from any other Loo. Especially the public facilities. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's n... Call me. You'll be glad you did!

FashionLoo
Call me for a free, no obligation consultation. We can discuss what you want to accomplish with your bathroom, themes, colors, accessories… Depending on the work that will go into your FashionLoo I can give you an estimate right away or email one within 24 hrs

Kindest Regards,

max shapiro
828-676-0803 or 310-869-7764
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com

Periodically the FashionLoo takes a look at the dwellings that some of the Loos are in. Take a look and beginning with number 8 and moving backwards to number 1

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 8 ~ Halle Berry

Very nice, on the beach,Malibu perhaps, very nice.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 7 ~ John Travolta

Mode of transportation for John is flying. Nice parking area for the plane. I am guessing that between jobs he is flying down to Mexico and bringing ... never mind. It's a nice place John.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 6 ~ Jerry Sienfeld

You know, Jerry did exceptionally well financially with the Sienfeld show. He should have gotten better than this modest home.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 5 ~ The Honorable Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger and wife Maria Schwarzenegger

Moved here from Austria with a dream. Could not speak a lick of English and it's actually still questionable today. Though, there have been improvements. Maria? Well, everyone knows the old dough came from Old Man Joe in his bootlegging days.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 4 ~ J. Lo & husband Marc Anthony

Very nice for a couple of people who lack talent and personality. Life is fair.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 3 ~ Funny Man, Eddie Murphy

Someone who controls everything in LA sure must have taken a liking to Eddie. He gets more chances after a bad movie than Evil Knievel did after he road rashed

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 2 ~ Oprah Winfrey

I would expect nothing less from Oprah. And this is only one of her cave's. This one is up in the Santa Barbara, CA area. She dropped $55million for this future 5 star hotel after she sells it.

Diggs Sustantivo Casa # 1 ~ The notorious, infamous and probably the most hated man in America and especially Los Angeles is a former Heisman Trophy Winner, NFL Super Star, then moved on to acting. Initially booking commercials, became spokesman for samsonite luggage. After a few years of commercial work he hit the big screen with the Airplane movies. Do you know who this abode belongs to yet? Hint: It’s in a private, gated community with added top-shelf security… you know who it is, it’s the home of O.J. “ass-hole, Delusions of Grandeur” Simpson”

I think his shoe closet in his Palisades Diggs was bigger. Oh well Oh well! 😉

Pink was their favorite color. C’mon, let’s pink inside…

What was the attraction to pink back then?

Well, someone today thinks this is very cool, modern retro.

Oh, oh... a few new colors are coming in.

Too bad it's Pink. Otherwise, it's pretty damn cool!

Look, in the retro days they had bubble gum canisters in the Loo. See it in the far caorner where mirror meets the wall.

It was only a matter of time before someone went out on a limb.

An old hallway table, a thrift store mirror, a ceramic or glass basin with a faucet and you just created a unique piece of art.

That’s right. There are probably a million old hallway tables, butcher’s blocks, old beat-up school desk’s or an imperfect piece of wood that was maybe burned a bit at one time. Whatever the piece may be you can make an adjustment here and there, antique it with a bicycle chain by beating the dog snot out of it, throw on some green, yellow, red, black, brown paint… choose the colors you like. Green and brown with the whipped chain looks like an antique over night. Use a rag, sponge and an old stiff paintbrush when applying the paint. The type of finish you get is entirely up to you. I personally like a flat or a semi-gloss. Buy a basin at any major home improvement store that you absolutely love (don’t get hung up on if it “matches” or not. It will) and there are lots of new ones out there, many beautiful ones for under $100. Some simple plumbing accessories, hang the mirror, put a couple of inexpensive side lamps on the wall with the aged Italian brass look and you have a functioning new sink that looks like a million bucks. It’s very cool! Use your imagination, let your heart guide you and you will be brilliant every time.

Check it out…

g. max shapiro
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com
310-869-7764
Call/email for a free, no obligation consultation
Simply put, we deliver nothing less than a QUALITY of work that when completed the results are superior! You will not find better craftsmanship anywhere. And at the rates we can offer you, you’ll bring us back again and again. I guarantee it!

Luxury Loo – You pick which one…

Luxury Loo # 1 – Multiple shots from different angles

Great bathroom. The dark floor is awesome. I have to say though, I would have went with the claw-foot tub instead of what they went with. It’s nice though.

This is a very cool Loo. That green thing hanging in the window has to go though. I think maybe someone there just watched a Martha Stewart show thus the… thing.

An area for the ladies. Very nice, very nice.

This shower must rock! It sure would have been nice to see more of it though.

Toilets just don’t get any better than this one! Why in God’s name that picture is there though must be some kind of sick joke. No, the joke comes when you use the Loo and reach for the toilet paper. Very funny people live in this house… I hope they keep their day jobs.

Luxury Loo # 2~ Hold onto your hats because…

I sit on this throne, therefore I am king. I have all the power, and things I’ll ever need.
But before you go, I know how you’ll vote. Give me a thumbs up, the finger if you won’t 😉

After Vintage we were on the way to creating what we now call the Retro Bathroom. Take a look…

Top 5 picks for the week o 12-07-2009. All Retro. Pick the most popular and win a prize~ I have never been a huge fan of this look primarily for two reasons; 1) They seem to be occupied by old people. Why? I have no idea. Just an observation on my part. 2) I forgot what my number 2 reason was but if I do remember before I’m finished I’ll let you know… They were not very sanitary! I knew I would remember. Some weird transition happened. You could eat off of the plumbing in a vintage Loo then the retro thing happens and I didn’t even want to be near one while eating. Seriously, they took my appetite away. Anyway, my top 5 picks “retro style” for week 12-07-2009-

Retro Loo pick # 5~

No space, incredibly small, it’s a germ motel… I hate it. 1 star.

Retro Loo pick # 4~

What is with the color pink? It seems like 8 out 10 retro bathrooms were pink back then. Is this because of Jayne Mansfield? There is something about the color pink that makes me want to vomit. No matter what shade it is I get a sudden urge to puke. I hate this Loo. 1 star!

Retro Loo pick # 3~

It’s getting better. I think the general population saw how disgusting their bathrooms had become so a change was in order. This next one at least makes an attempt to do something to get away from the crap that was being built and billed as “modern bathrooms” with all the comforts you can imagine… I would yell at the TV when I was a kid and tell the guy doing the commercial to go F–k himself then get up and go have a smoke I was so disgusted. But check this out…

Put your guns back in your holsters and calm down. Yea, it’s Pepto Dismal Pink BUT look at the gray towels above the toilet… huh? And then there’s some BS here and there that have normal colors for a man. Hey, just understand this if you’re thinking of ever running for office for any seat, change happens slowly. But it’s a positive change, God bless the guy who put these towels and thing-a-ma-jigs on the wall. This Loo gets 3 stars!

Retro Loo pick # 2~

The Loos are looking promising now. We’re heading in the right direction and everyone should light up a cigar and celebrate, Look at this beauty…

Ok, yea, it’s some kind of whacked out green but listen! It has more space, more colors though most of them suck with the exception of the floor tile which you have noticed is gray. A couple of aluminum shower rods, the commode is back in a separate room… we are on our way! I like it, 3 stars.

Now, the # 1 pick for the best retro Loo is…

Yea, that is right, stare in awe. This Loo is my favorite of all time. I got one word to say; I don’t see a spec of pink in this Loo, it’s masculine, it’s hip, slick and way too cool AND it’s Numero Uno in my Loo book! I am giving it, no, this Loo undisputedly deserves 5 stars. More if we had them. And let me tell you something, this ain’t no germ factory!

Jayne Mansfield & Her Pink Loo

Besides vintage bathrooms on the rise today are Pink Loo’s. Check it out. Legendary Jayne Mansfield’s home bathroom. Not only is it just freakin weird, how would you find the pepto bismal if you were sick? Check out her windows, the carpeting, the shape of the tub, the ceiling… it doesn’t stop. Click on her picture and the next one is her leaving her pink palace in a pink Cadillac. Pink is a nauseating color, should be outlawed, people who wear pink are a lot off their rocker, statistically, people who drive pink cars get in more serious car accidents than any other color car. The on and only true exception is… well, just ask any guy. There isn’t anything better! Jayne really must have been in love with the color pink!

The Vintage Loo and why we should bring it back… FAST!

Check out the detail in this bathroom; side window columns, wall lamps, I think the feet of the tub have faces on them and the wall tile or marble covers about 3/4 of the wall from floor to ceiling. Just above the wall tile is a robe hook. The double towel racks are great! A lot of the things in here are being brought back by people today when remodeling their bathroom.

Judging by the stool in this bathroom I’ll guess that this person was someone who was pampered and well taken care of.

Love the bathrooms where the commode is in a separate room. This is a design that would be welcomed back!

I have never seen an accessory like this before. My guess is since taking a bath was more common than showering this bowl was to hold clean water to; a) wash your face b) wash/rinse your hair c) I don’t have a clue what this thing is other than I will be obsessed with the thought until I do know what it was used for. Anyone know?

When you get a look at true craftsmanship of anything that shows imagination, love for the work, minute detail it is usually something from years ago. Today it comes down to spend less money in every way possible when making something then charge top dollar for it. The day the Loo dies is the day when we get out of bed in the morning still half asleep, an ache here and there, minor pain in your neck, one knee… and we go straight to the conveyor belt. 5 minutes later we are completely clean from head to toe/inside & out, fully dressed and ready to go. This next design, one that I am sure took some thought and hard work, tells me we are one step closer to “The Belt!”