Bathrooms Refashioned and the little things that can blow it!

First glance at this Loo I thought what a great job! Tight, clean, awesome window, colors… colors, WTF??? There are gold faucets and knobs in this room. Let me tell you something. Actually a few things about gold. Its freakin ugly is the first thing. “Oh, you got a new plasma TV. It looks great! The black trim is nice but it would look so much better in gold. Let me paint it gold for you” I think if you kill someone in your own home it’s considered self defense or insane or… something like that. In Texas it’s considered an everyday occurrence. Wouldn’t it be great if we could sell a state to another country…(a phone conversation between a potential buyer and the USA realtor. by the way, when a state is sold the USA keeps the land obviously but all the people who live in the state must move to their new union within 48 hrs) “Yea, that’s right. Texas is for sale. $1.55. No, that\’s one dollar and 55 cents for the entire state. Sure, you can make payments. I’m sorry? Would we take $0.74? Let me think about tha… ok, only if you take it today. Ok then, congratulations on the purchase of your new state. Now who is this again? Oh yea, well good luck with your new state of Texas. Nice doing business with you as well Iraq and take care 😉 Back to reality, gold is ugly, it always looks cheap even if it’s real, it shows you lack taste and are probably someone who is gaudy, garish and obviously flaunts it. And where? In a damn nice Loo. This bathroom would have looked like they dumped thousands more into the job if they would have used brushed nickel in place of everything that is gold. They totally screwed up. I hope the whole bathroom turns into a moldy green. I’ve said this before and here it is again, Gold is good for one thing only, exchanging for cash.

This near perfect! It’s compact, great for a guest bathroom, it appears to be off the hallway, dark wood, darker counter top, cream tile with some black design… almost perfect. The only thing I would have done differently for literally a couple of bucks and would make it look like a million bucks are the wall plates. White and cream color wallplates have been around since Europe stopped yelling and throwing babies out the window. You have to watch those Europeans, especially when you get into southern Europe. Oh, there’s a small country within a country within a city which is Rome and the country inside Rome is… you tell me and win a prize. Yea, wallplates of cream and white are big time boring. Really boring. We now have options, all kinds of color wallplates which really make a room stand out. I have Italian aged brass in a room or two with black over-sized metal throughout the rest of the place. It makes a huge difference but still, this Loo is great. The colors are smart, thoughtful, you could read in there (actually I can read in any… never mind) And since there are no signs of towels, facecloth’s, soap, in fact I don’t see any accessories. What’s wrong with these people? You have to use the bathroom badly and when you run in with you ex-friend, (by the way, you know how people hold up their one wrist and point at it with their other hand when they want to know the time? Point at your crotch to someone, anyone, the next time you really need the bathroom) and she says; “first door on the left down the hall. You do your business and feel great! Then you notice there is not one single drop of soap, no cloth of any type, not even a bathmat. You say screw it and that you\’ll dry you hands on the wallplates. You turn the water handles and nothing. The water has been turned off. Why in God’s name do these people have a bathroom here for??? You reach under the sink and take the valve handles off after turn both up to full power, you take the toilet valve handle after you turn it off and you were lucky enough to loosen the drainpipe under the sink. You walk out and say; ” See you soon Mrs Cleaver. If you decide to remodel again soon they have some great wallplates at Sewol” Aside from this mess this is a great looking small Loo.

This is still getting closer to basics but keeping the comforts and technology

Look at this tub and sink. They’re strategically placed close enough to one another that the faucet could swivel, lower and raise to serve both tub and sink. This would obviously save on material and labor costs. It’s kept very simple. With the stone wall being pretty basic/earth tone, I like it!

This could be very innovative if I am seeing something that is real. A swivel faucet that lowers and rises to serve both tub and sink. Your thoughts?

Back 2 Basics anyone?

Take a look at the things, stuff, electronics, picture frames, glass tops to counter tops. Microwave ovens to, George Foreman Grill to the Ron RONCO Rotisserie oven ~ “Set it and forget it” (they never mention what a royal pain in the rear end it is to clean that thing up. But it does cook a great piece of meat. Reel-to-Reel is still the best in quality but you can’t buy one. Beta should have easily beat out VHS but id not. Technology? Perhaps. Who moved faster, was more aggressive, got things going was who became the winner. It really didn’t have a thing to do with quality back then because ppl chose to buy VHS to record. It looked like crap but everything off of the TV set did then. Now it’s Blu-ray and HD-DVD over which format will become the dominant high-definition DVD platform. It’s a flip of the coin and who is the faster runner. So as you see things in your home that were brand new yesterday may be completely out of date today….. Wow my brain flatulated just then and I forgot where I was going with all this. I remembered and will tell you where, back to the basics as we should. I just read and article the other day on this upstart company that builds homes. Yea, big deal you’re thinking. The thing is these homes are ridiculously small somewhere around25 sq ft with a cozy (have ppl always noticed when the word cozy is used that the writer means cramped?) anyway, price tags for these one wheelers about 4 times the size of an outhouse is around 35k. Three br, 2 bath homes built in the 70’s were going for 25k – 30k. Inflation is definitely going to be the death of this country UNLESS we do go back to the basics and stick with them. I am relearning myself. I am fixing things rather than replacing. I am buying used instead of brand new. I ask the cashier at department stores if they have a coupon I can use. Most do. There are coupon books out there that serve the community from dining out to golf. Typically it’s a 2-for-1 deal which is great. So I came across this Loo and the first thing I thought of was Pitcher and Bowl. Now we obviously have better plumbing and such so it’s not entirely necessary to go back too far but back far enough where everything seemed much more peaceful, a simplicity to life, a relaxed hr or two in the sun drink a cold root beer. Take a look at the basin then look around your home. Try and find things that have given us a great advantage over some things but now how can we tone it down so that it is “greener”, better for the consumer, and the quality is unmatched. Send me your ideas. This could stimulate whole new workforce and this is a great thing!

Back by poopular demand…

The Battle of the “SOAP DISH” Yea! Man, this one is fun. Every country on the planet, how many countries are there? Is it 194? 204? Just as human beings this would be a good thing to know. I mean look at it this way, if you asked some extreme liberal pet owners who are constantly bleeding from the mouth about everything but what truly is important in Santa Monica, how to get to the 405 they would look west first (west is towards that large body of water often referred to as the pacific ocean) and say something like this. Also, these are natives of the Westside, here we go; “well, it’s not that way because the water is that way. I don’t think it’s down there either. I have just never seen a freeway down there. It could be up there. Now did you say Pacific Coast Highway? Oh, the 405 freeway… the 405, mmm, do you know what it’s called?” This is when the out of towner walks away and is feeling sorry for the person. The thing is all freeways have a number which most people go by; the 405, the 5, the 101, the 10… the 405 is called The San Diego Freeway. So this is how you tell a native of CA. And this same person who just sounded ditzy and harmless screamed at a homeless woman. I witnessed this. Check it out. The homeless woman was petting a dog tied to a parking meter. The dog was shy and was cowering down. The mouth bleeding no sense of direction pet owner woman comes storming out of boarders with about $100 worth of pastries, 8 bags of no caff, organic, locally grown, hand picked and foot crushed beans gutless wonder coffee and starts frantically untying her dog from the meter. The homeless woman who probably has not touched a living creature in a while but maybe a bug or a spider said very politely to the woman (this is freakin priceless b/c it is so Santa Monica. I hate Santa Monica and hope the entire town drops into the ocean. They do have the best cupcakes in the world there though, tough call) anyway, she politely says to the breeder bleeder; “I tried to pet your dog. He’s so shy and he’s beautiful” when Christine Columbus got in her face and raised her voice just short of yelling and said; he’s not shy, he hates people who smoke cigarettes!” then she stormed off. The homeless woman was priceless. She just smiled and said; “he’s still a pretty dog” Oh, I almost forgot what we were doing here. The battle of the Soap Dish and how many countries are in the world. For the 3rd time in my entire life I got something right. Cause for celebration! We don’t, who ever “we” is, we don’t count Taiwan as an official country so there are currently 194 countries in the world. This is kind of bull-shit though. Think about it. We don’t consider Taiwan as an “official” country but the Vatican is a country within Rome. It’s not a wonder that I got into the shi… the FashionLoo business 🙂 Ok, the best soap dish in the world and the worst.
As usual, the Italians have “cleaned up” on the soap dish battle. Here it is…

Italian – aged brass bath soap dish

Yea, Yea, Yea... aged brass, Italian... so what! Now look at ours, USofA...

Because we were almost disqualified for our previous soap dish were given a one-time only replacement opportunity. I can assure you we didn’t go to the 0.99cent store this time, we went to “Soap Dish traveler de la Creme” where only the best, top-shelf only, optimum and finest plastic stuff is sold at a discount. I honestly felt in my heart of hearts that we would undisputedly walk away with the award for the first time ever.We got it alright, “FashionLoo, worst Loo accessories ever” award. Our fine Pop Culture item which was most difficult to locate loses to a rusty old tub soap dish that they call “aged brass from Italy” Who cares??? Ours is in a claw foot tub. It’s personal now. We are already designing our own accessories from this point forward. Surely we’ll be opening FashionLoo 3 ~ “Accessories; Personalize your Loo. After all, it is you”. Even the name is a hit. See what Europe has next week… Ha Ha Ha! I already smell success and can see gold going to the bank! We’re talking Cream de la Creme here and not creme brulee < burnt cream. So claw foot pop culture soap dish lost the battle, but not the war! Take a good long hard look at him…

Great Loo, limited space, made it work!

I love this bathroom. Check it out… the windows are unique or at least rarely seen anymore. That sink I know goes for under $100, the colors are perfect and for this Loo a person couldn’t find better matching tones. Two things I will caution you about, the toilet handle is on the left side when looking at it. Eljer is made that way. They’re next to impossible to find. Now sitting on the toilet to TP is sticking out from the wall. Either a TP stand that you can move around or have the it inserted into the wall with copper casing. It would be perfect. I am a pain in the ass aren’t I 😉 I have a feeling this Loo is in the UK.

Love it! Side wall lamps, the colors blend really well, the floor looks awesome. The only thing is the toilet handle is on the left side. This may be an Eljer. Move forward with EXTREME caution people.

g. max shapiro
maxshapiro.ca@gmail.com
828-676-0803 or 310-869-7764
Call/email for a free, no obligation consultation
Uncontested, undoubtedly, unreal the absolute BEST rates in town for QUALITY work!

A call came in for this Loo…

Yea, a mostly green kitchen is like some chick with hundreds of tatts not ever wondering what she’ll look like as grandma. Kitchens… they’re so overrated! And btw, The Brady Bunch just called and they want their kitchen back now!

One red apple in this pic would have made it a great shot.

Before you go…

Remember to comfort yourself in the morning by way of the Loo. Don’t get involved in that rat race and take your time. Ground yourself then let yourself go like you walk on air because you do. Don’t let people control who you are and what you do but do let people be people. No matter who people are, I think all have a good heart with well intentions. Some just have guarded theirs for so long that they forgot how to open it up. Others have not used theirs for a long time so it may be a little rusty. And those that don’t realize the nature of the heart were just never taught. But you can show then the nature of yours and one day, some person who never realized, a light will go on and shine forever.So contact the FashionLoo, and we’ll design a brand just for you 😉

You pick it, we'll create it

Perhaps this one knows more about you than you do

or this one, it will release the real you

So, you’ll let me know by tomorrow which FashionLoo you decided on.

Two other recently finished FashionLoos

Both of these bathrooms had some water damage but not bad. Everything was salvageable. The stripping of the wallpaper was tedious and unforgiving with ongoing dust storms. For anyone who suffers from allergies no matter what protective gear you wear this will get to you. The second challenge was though the floors were solid they were “wavy” which took a lot of elbow work to get them even. A big hammer also helped when everything else either failed or became increasingly frustrating. If you look closely at a lot of the wall-hangings, metal pots, soap dishes, some pictures… these were all purchased at various Goodwill’s. The imagination will go along way once it’s encouraged and charged up! They’re great for holding hand-towels, facecloths, soaps, creams and anything else you can thing of.

The wood is original and in pretty fair shape after a lot of muscle beating the hell out of it. The linoleum was glued down with cement. When separating these two I discovered I know a lot of ways to express myself with words that I never knew I had in me. And for the life of me I can't remember what those words are. I bet someone else does though.

The end result of the floor for Loo #1. I really like the way it turned out.

Bathroom #2 is interesting. Almost identical to #1 in the beginning but went in a totally different direction with colors. Dolphin gray walls, Nordic gray baseboards, molding is specs of creams, browns and white. Floor is black, white and gray. Lots of metal in this Loo and though the colors are dark it is extremely calming in this room.

In the early beginning stages of a project everything seems like it will be so much fun. After about 3 minutes into it is when the truth is told.

The end result…

This is the end results for the floor. It is beautiful. The colors are dark throughout that somehow pull off a very warm and comforting feeling. It is quite elegant.

Beautiful lighting that I pieced together

Overall these two FashionLoos were great fun to design. To watch the transformation from basic and functional hum-drum, get ready for the rat race room to #1 becoming artsy, trendy, fashionable that looks like it belongs in a leading ad agency was a lot of fun and exciting. I love the way this Loo turned out.

Before

After

FashionLoo #2 was anyone’s guess with this window that you’ll see. What do we do with it? Surrounded by wallpaper and a couple of decorative items including a roll of tape, we decided to put our imagination to work around the window and not so much on the window. When we finished with this it was alive. It belonged to the original Rat Pack! It says; “Hey, look at me now” when you walk into the Loo. It knows your name, shines a light on you and will even contest what you are wearing is all wrong for what you’re doing that night; “You’re not REALLY going out in that TONIGHT… are you???” I can also smash it to kingdom come, take away its 8 corners and make a circle out of it if it keeps it up. So far, all corners are intact.

Next is a Plasma TV in The Loo

FashionLoo #2 was a hit or miss going with the dark colors. It could have turned out dreary, doom & gloom and would have then been referred to as a gas station restroom that you operate with your feet. It didn’t though. It didn’t even come close to something of that nauseating look. On the contrary, it converted to an imaginative, artistic and intelligent Loo that would impress any prominent Manhattanite without explanation.

The best for last… Loo number one turned out awesome. Picture perfect. Always finding just the right bucket, soap-dish, antique metal wall hanging and every single time the price was rock bottom and the color(s) perfect for the Loo. We were missing something though. One of those things that you’re not quite sure what it is but you will know it emphatically when you see it. Then, right before our eyes while walking past a taxidermist’s office was Jaz Cat. a.k.a. M.C. CoCo Kat This cat was put together so well he looks totally real! Put your cursor an inch or two above his head, he’ll stare at it for days, even a week one time. Even his colors match the Loo. You have to admit, with this find you know it’s one of those days when everything you touch is going to turn to gold. Now, introducing Jaz Cat at The Loo…

From the tip of his nose to the very end of his tail, Jaz Cat packs them at The Loo!

This very modest Loo is in the home of who?

This is obviously a very modest home bathroom that belongs to someone that has a high profile. He is extremely bright, highly educated, creative, a family man, hardworking and loved by many. The first one to guess who it is will receive a sneak preview into next weeks top 5 Loo picks with an added bonus of the most poopular nightclubs around the world with the worst of the worst restrooms. This closes at noon tomorrow-11/22/2009 (this was a major hint right there! Really, I just gave it away)

The Top 5 Picks for the Week of 11/16/09

That time of week again. In a few hours everyone who is sound asleep (everyone with JOBS that is) Man, how did this economy get so bad??? I thought I should start being more frugal and participate in shopping smart, do not waste, buy only what I need to survive on like tree bark and water so I decided I would shop at the 99 cent store for some basic home supplies. Every item in the store was over a $1.00. I left without buying anything. Then I came up with a brilliant idea… I went to all the fast food restaurants and grabbed condiments for the house. This is going to save us a bundle I thought. Next I went to every high end restaurant I could find and took the matches for heat and mints by the pocket loads for snacks while watching TV at home. I’m beginning to think this isn’t so bad. Tomorrow I have plans to rob the food bank. I’m going in disguised as a drunk, angry, enough is enough Dan Matthews/VP of PETA with a loaded squirt gun. I’m hoping that everyone will pass out from shock instead of beating the living dog-snot out of me which is highly likely and understanding. I may even look the other way. Anyway, an update will be in next weeks top 5 picks. Meanwhile, here at the ranch, we’ve cut back so much My cat bit me for no reason at all last night. Well actually, he is always biting me. BUT this time he drew blood and he means business. He wants the top of the line IAMS. I explained that the IAMS offer to animals is; “you’re either IN or you’re OUT” Think about it, not funny. This will make you laugh though, how ridiculous the economy has gotten. I read several articles that recently that the worst crime in Asheville, NC is throwing stones at homes. That’s the worst crime. I mean if you were walking by a window and a rock came flying through I suppose that would be bad. Still, the worst crime is throwing stones at homes. AND it happens often. Now in LA you can sell pot for medicinal purposes, beat the living daylights out of someone and claim it was “mutual combat”. You will get a small fine and that is the end of that. The prisons in Asheville NC though are overcrowded with “home stoned throwers” forced to hard labor. In LA Mass murderers have computers and color TV’S. Let’s jaw on this for a second, I can hopefully and God willing get a job at the infamous Walmart to supplement my income for the upcoming holidays. Thanksgiving we’re having chicken and that’s that. Chanukah we’re having kosher spam for 8 days starting on December 11th and continuing through December 19th and that’s that. On Christmas we’ll order Chinese food and that’s that. Now, I have no idea if Walmart even pay their employees with real money, offer them any sort of benefits (but man, Globalization: Walmart is keeping China busy) Or I could sell crack part time, a few hrs a day. Starting off I would make right around $400k. Can I sleep on it tonight and give you an answer in the morning? Oh by the way, do I get an employee discount? No, not at Walmart dummy, for the crack!”

Moving to The Top 5 picks for this rat race week of 11/16/2009…

# 5~ Loo

I wasn't feeling well the other day so I went to the Loo and painted it PeptoBismol.

# 4~ Loo

Pepto didn't help much so I went for the mint...

# 3~ Loo

Anyone notice that the European Loo's all have chandeliers. I'm starting a reFashion on a small guest Loo tomorrow, actually in a few hours, and I will suggest they have a chandelier installed. Gotta upsell during tough times!

# 2~ Loo

This beautiful classic look is one that is in most demand to reFashion today.

The number 1 FashionLoo for week 11/16/2997 is…
Everything can be done in one room. Dad reads the paper with a martini (4th one by the way) Mom is bathing Jimmy the greek, all three older sisters don’t want to be near you and Mama looks tired, Pops passed out and my sisters are smoking cigarettes in the house. This is insane for a 9 year old!

Have a great week, check back often and stay in shape. You never know who you may run into…

Sort of reminds me of A-Rod 😉